The Crow and the Girl

[Magpie]

Hi Pyrra, I really like the energy that you've got going on with this poem, it bounces along nicely and the characters are wonderful. There are places where I was tripped up due to the metre but because this is the novice forum I can't really say too much and also because metre is not my strong point I'll stick more to what I know and also what you have specifically asked about. There really aren't that many spelling mistakes but the one's that I did find I've highlighted.

The girl walking barefoot, for new ways she sought
found that the forest was infested with thought.
She saw the mouse first, just quivering fear
And the mouse said: "I beg of you, please don't come near!
You are so big, and I am so small,
and it might be that I am delicious and all
but it seems every creature on land and in air
wants to catch me and kill me and eat me. Not fair!
Too scared to go outside, dying of thirst.
All of them nasty! The hawk is the worst,"

The hawk drawing circles high up in the sky
saw mouse and girl talking with his sharp and strong eye.
He descended from blue and he folded his wings
and he spoke of freedom and hunger and things
and of hatchlings and death and of rights and of need,
for if not on the mouse, on what should he feed?
His conscience 's been bothering nevertheless.
He's been looking for answers, he had to confess.
He had asked the owl, but the owl didn't know,
so he was on his way now to talk with the crow.

They were just heading off to find the crows nest,
(after some debate they'd agreed to turn west,)
When a humm made them stop and walk back to a tree,
where they found the bedraggled busy buzzing bee.
"How hard is my life and my struggle untold,
collecting the pollen and nectar for gold
honey in combs for the queen and the brood,
and slaving and working and gathering food.
And at the end of the day it is all for the bear!
He came and ate all, I tell you, it's not fair!"

"I might aswell stop here and now rest my case,
for this world indeed is a terrible place."
Then with a roar which can make hearts tear
stumbling from the bush came a grief-stricken bear.
"I'm soooorry!", he hollered and fell on his knee
before the bewildered busy buzzing bee.
"Your honey 's delicious, my favourite thing -- I wouldn't usually point 'favorite' out as a spelling mistake because it is correct as it is American English, but because you mentioned about writing British English I thought I would mention it. Also because it is part of speech which includes the British English spelling of 'colour', so it kind of makes more sense to keep to one.
When I come to get it I know you will sting.
But then..awww the smell and the colour the taste!
I would do it again! But I do feel disgraced."

So they all joined each other and went on their way
To hear what the crow would have to say.
When with a snarl and a gnarl and a growl full of wrath
The ragged and jagged lone wolf crossed their path.
"Stay away from me! Homeless, will hurt you and bite.
I stay in the shadows, I stay out of sight,
for my pack, they all hate me, forsaken and black
I am destined to wander alone, without pack.
So, I'm hard and I'm hurtful, I'm tough and I'm grey
I warn you again, I'm in pain. Stay away!"

When the pack started howling, a frightening choir,
two voices ascended, one deep and one higher,
singing a song of a king and a stray,
and of fights and of rules which the wrong won't obey,
and of strength being weakened by wounds from the fight,
of protection and puppies, of wrong and of right.
Of bold hunters missing in imperative chase
and of risk and of danger, if the wrong granted grace.
But doubting their sentence they thought it'd be best,
if they'd joined the party on their search to crow's nest.

They were just heading west, walking together,
when they heard a noise like you hear from a feather.
and a scratch with a claw made everyone see
the crow, sitting on a dead, fallen tree.
The girl, she approached him, brought forward the case
of the mouse and the hawk, of the prey and the chase.
Where one of them 's starving, if the other won't die.
The crow heard it all, blinking one eye, -- I removed the second 'e' from 'heared' - I tried to cross it out but it looked exactly the same, hence this little note. 
Then he ruffled his feathers and he tilted his head.
"But, we all are the same, if we're living or dead."

The girl carried on, for she wanted to care
bout the quarrel between the bee and the bear.
One's one only pleasure, the other one's pain.
The crow he jumped up, then he landed again,
and he stood on one leg, and he looked at the bee.
"All of us, we are one. I am him, she is me."
And what of safety for many endangered by one?
What of freedom, of pity? What can be done?
"I cannot say what's exactly to do
But there is no such thing as a `me´ and a `you´."

"They are us, too.", crow insistently said,
"Like water. And air." The girl nodded her head.
Then she reflected on things she had heard,
for she knew that the forest would await the crows word.
All the eyes and antennae, the claws, paws and wings,
were waiting to hear of wonders and things
were longing to hear the words of crow's song,
to finally differ what's right and what's wrong.
"So, what did the crow say?", asked anxiously hawk,
The girl replied smiling : "The crow? He said: `Squaaaaawk!´"

As regards your question about Capital Letters - You have rightly observed that there is a hell of a lot of discussion about Capitalisation on this site. It is One Sure Way to start a Friendly argument/discussion especially when concerning capital letters at the beginning of each line. I totally understand your thinking in wanting to capitalise all the animals in the poem as it is something that I used to do regularly myself (probably because I've read lots of Blake and Whitman etc). I have however learnt from reading poetry and discussions here that it is often overused and used wrongly by many poets throughout blogworld and such places. I have read poems where every word is capitalised except for the little words. It is quite a powerful tool but to use it very sparingly makes it even more powerful in my opinion, though others may differ. 
I personally think that that you have made the correct choice for this poem, especially considering how many animals feature, and it reads smoothly because of that. There was one thing I noticed, an example of which is in the second line of the second stanza, 'saw mouse and girl talking', here because 'mouse' was not preceded by 'a' or 'the' it felt as though 'mouse' should be capitalised because it felt more like 'Mouse' was a name if that makes any sense. So if there was one particular animal that you wanted to capitalise more than the others you could use a technique like this and it would work. Just a possible thought.

Thanks for the read, I really enjoyed it,

Mark