11-13-2015, 05:06 AM
For the new draft, I replaced L4 (the one containing the all too controversial "clamor"). Any thoughts on the new L4 would be greatly appreciated. I also had seen a few criticisms of my last stanza, which I had been reluctant to keep anyhow, so it was omitted.
rowens: I am unsure as to how i can increase the representation of the meaning of this work within itself. I find a charming quality in the unconventionality and intricacy of poetry, though I see how I can bog down my own work with such aesthetics.
ellajam: Thanks for spotting my "Marsh" typo. I used your opinions to help influence my severing of the final stanza.
poemkeats2016: Less an analysis, more an opinion. The Stream of Consciousness is hard to follow, but it helps if you read into authors like Virginia Woolf to get familiarize yourself with how "one thought leads to another which leads to a decision" sorta thing.
terse: I'm sorry for removing that line you liked, but maybe getting rid of "clamor" may make up for that.
the man with the spoon: Less a feeling, more a situation. Poetry can be about any sort of things. Emotion is not the only muse of the existence. This poem is a bit more lighthearted than say: a good dose of Poe.
rowens: I am unsure as to how i can increase the representation of the meaning of this work within itself. I find a charming quality in the unconventionality and intricacy of poetry, though I see how I can bog down my own work with such aesthetics.
ellajam: Thanks for spotting my "Marsh" typo. I used your opinions to help influence my severing of the final stanza.
poemkeats2016: Less an analysis, more an opinion. The Stream of Consciousness is hard to follow, but it helps if you read into authors like Virginia Woolf to get familiarize yourself with how "one thought leads to another which leads to a decision" sorta thing.
terse: I'm sorry for removing that line you liked, but maybe getting rid of "clamor" may make up for that.
the man with the spoon: Less a feeling, more a situation. Poetry can be about any sort of things. Emotion is not the only muse of the existence. This poem is a bit more lighthearted than say: a good dose of Poe.