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Swamp and Batter
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11-05-2015, 07:17 PM
I could feel the difficulty of movement in the imagery you used. If feeling stuck is what you were going for then I think you did a good job. I'm not really digging the use of the word clamor and I'm unclear what you are trying to convey in the last couple of lines although I liked your "urge to urge" line. It's a little clunky however I liked it.
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| Messages In This Thread |
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Swamp and Batter - by thepoorfortune - 11-04-2015, 07:36 AM
RE: Swamp and Batter - by rowens - 11-04-2015, 10:23 AM
RE: Swamp and Batter - by thepoorfortune - 11-04-2015, 12:33 PM
RE: Swamp and Batter - by ellajam - 11-04-2015, 11:07 PM
RE: Swamp and Batter - by poemkeats2016 - 11-05-2015, 03:27 PM
RE: Swamp and Batter - by Terse - 11-05-2015, 07:17 PM
RE: Swamp and Batter - by the man with the spoon - 11-06-2015, 06:08 AM
RE: Swamp and Batter - by thepoorfortune - 11-13-2015, 05:06 AM
RE: Swamp and Batter - by Moonstruck1 - 11-18-2015, 05:26 AM
RE: Swamp and Batter - by samyarb - 12-05-2015, 07:30 AM
RE: Swamp and Batter - by reverentpain - 12-05-2015, 11:09 AM
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