10-09-2015, 08:09 PM
(10-07-2015, 06:48 PM)Weeded Wrote: Still messing around trying to get it right, let's see if this is closerI like this. Hum.
Edit 1
Chicken wings take flight
Plant feet wither or harden
No matter what: death
Why "chicken wings"? Anything about food here? Either chickens or wings, for me.
With "chicken wings", I at first thought those feet were also of chickens. Now I'm hungry. Maybe make plants more, er, specific? Or are these really the chickens' feet, in which case you may need a bit of clarification.
Not sure how wither or harden are really different in message, but the subtleties between them's nice. I like that.
That ending. Isn't this too, I dunno, nihilistic for a haiku? But nevermind that.