The Barbershop

[justlikeyou]

Snip, snip, snip
hair like fall leaves
a puppy gazing

[John]

Snip, snip, snip Just doesn't cut it (pun intended.) Each word is crucial and simulates words in a novel about 1000:1. For me, repeats are a waste.
hair like fall leaves This is the only acknowledgement to a season, but how is it summed up in a puppy?
a puppy gazing Can't see the relevance between a gazing puppy and a haircut.

It may have had more seasonal relevance if hair loss (e.g. the ageing condition) had been related to autumn and trees shedding leaves.

(PS. I've removed all your tags of font, size, colour, and the link to a google image. It's a real bind trying to edit with all that lot in there for no apparent reason.)  

Thanks for the opportunity to read it.

[justlikeyou]

Snip, snip, snip Just doesn't cut it (pun intended.) Each word is crucial and simulates words in a novel about 1000:1. For me, repeats are a waste.
hair like fall leaves This is the only acknowledgement to a season, but how is it summed up in a puppy?
a puppy gazing Can't see the relevance between a gazing puppy and a haircut.

It may have had more seasonal relevance if hair loss (e.g. the ageing condition) had been related to autumn and trees shedding leaves.

(PS. I've removed all your tags of font, size, colour, and the link to a google image. It's a real bind trying to edit with all that lot in there for no apparent reason.)  

Thanks for the opportunity to read it.

Thanks John. Very green to poetry in general and haiku in particular though I have been researching the later of late.

From what I'm learning haiku is about nature or natural things...or life unfolding...as it happens. It's also about being written in two parts with a juxaposition. As you can see in the pic the puppy had little to do with the haircut except by virtue of being in the barber shop. Not sure if that qualifies as a proper juxtaposition but it was part of the happening.

Here are a couple of links I've found usueful information from. Take a look if you care to.

Link 1      Link 2