10-07-2015, 08:30 PM
(10-07-2015, 07:49 PM)Weeded Wrote: Agh I'm sorry Ray I'm not sure I understand when you say the narrative is too extended.. do you mean I focus too much on the single ideas?
Oops, here I go being too nebulous again.
Chicken wings? Plant feet?
Coward act? Gory glory?
False bravado kills.
Lines 1 and 2 contain four items.
Each line should a contain a single image/idea.
"Chicken wings?" and "Plant feet?" are partial images/puns that aren't that bad for a haiku.
"Coward act?" and "Gory glory?" are abstracts that aren't that useful to a haiku.
Line 3 should NOT be an author-provided conclusion.
It needs to be an image/idea that is a necessary (though maybe surprising) result of 1 and 2.
a brightly colored fungus that grows in bark inclusions