08-14-2015, 03:36 AM
Damn, what can I say that hasn't been said already? It was kind of doomed from the velvet curtains really, even a Bing image search for "velvet curtains" would probably say "Did you mean... ? And I don't need to say "Hey man it's the hymen" because you probably get the point by now (no pun in... ah doesn't matter) Even then if the end could have been totally unexpected it might of saved itself. At first I was thinking of rhymes with swagger and Jagger as in Mick cropped up but even that is cliche to...
So with a gladiator’s swagger
To the left then right then Agga
doo doo doo push pineapple shake the tree
Agadoo doo doo
Yeah ok, it's only slightly better. But we all know that you only wrote this to test us. If you can write something that even to you as the writer comes as a surprise and unexpected when you read it then there's a chance that it could be original, you just need to be honest with yourself. And if I'm being honest I've probably wrote even more predictable poems than this so... Yeah that's not much help, but you know what I mean.
Cheers,
Mark
So with a gladiator’s swagger
To the left then right then Agga
doo doo doo push pineapple shake the tree
Agadoo doo doo
Yeah ok, it's only slightly better. But we all know that you only wrote this to test us. If you can write something that even to you as the writer comes as a surprise and unexpected when you read it then there's a chance that it could be original, you just need to be honest with yourself. And if I'm being honest I've probably wrote even more predictable poems than this so... Yeah that's not much help, but you know what I mean.
Cheers,
Mark
(08-05-2015, 10:05 PM)surfersam Wrote: If you replace my dagger with mine dagger...Nice try mate, but no-ones going to fall for that old trick, get your own velvet curtains
wae aye man ye radgie