Of the Storm, 1987. Edit 1.006 fromc,leah,ambrosial.

[tectak]

It's very lurid, but I like it. Did you mean to imitate Anglo Saxon poetry in the construction of your lines? If so, it's pretty inconsistent by the end. Carry on. Leah

Thanks leah
I am a fucking anglo saxon....so what's to imitate
Very best,
good stuff,
tectak

Erupting fire, the sky split open, rakish rays fanned wide around. the sky is erupting fire, right? So you need a period or a semi-colon after 'open'.Not convinced on this. Comma=and
(?) Erupting fire and the sky split open and rakish rays fanned wide around.
Luv ya too  ><

No and not every comma and just the one after "open".
"Erupting fire, the sky split open and rakish rays fanned wide around"

...but you knew that and didn't you?
Oh, and I gave you Fury, too
Best,
tectak