Salad Blues, winter leaves. edit 1.005,milo,billy,merc,erthona,fromcancer

[Leah S.]

This year I'll grow no greenhouse envy; in truth, no green at all.
No ruby fruits, no piercing darts of piping chillies, no eggplants
pendulate, purple-breasted. Not even one great, golden star I have no problem with pendulate, but there is another word that you have all been neglecting: pendulous. (as in pendulous breasts, which is the image I got.) Webster's doesn't insist that any of the pendant words actually refer to pendulums.
will burst, anticipating pollen; so no zucchini sans my hand.
Winter holds no happy promise, its quaint demise a silent death.
There will be no wake to follow, no joy-filled pots or feast to come.
Instead, the lichened lights grow shaded; unfettered feet lichened light is gorgeous.
of creeping things greyed out the glass, left cracked by autumn winds. Tense switch. Why not just 'grey out'?
Old frost-clear tracks, tell-tales of slugs no longer threatened,
blaze in bands of sun-crisped slime. The summer star will shine benign 'sun-crisped slime' is also perfect.
on bare and barren cedar staging, littered with sharp snail-shell shards;
all victims of the killing days when sulphur fumes formed lethal acid
and black-tar fluid*, watered white, obscured the fragrant panes. footnotes should be banned in poetry, especially if snarky.
If only there was one more season, one more potter, one more yield;
then I would take my chitted set and cut it into sighted slivers, this line confused me completely, not because I was unfamiliar with what was obviously some kind of cutting implement, but because I could not fathom why 'sighted' should be an adjective before 'slivers'. It wasn't until I was writing this comment that I suddenly realized you were talking about the eyes in the potatoes. Here's the problem: the poem works beautifully even if the reader doesn't know exactly what you are planting...do you really want to insist that the reader know?
dip in dust of saffron yellow, dibble but a hand-depth down, I didn't know what specific substance you were referring to, but it was quite clear that it was a treatment for whatever you were planting.
into the mulch of ages. Then gently lower, cover over,
scoop up ramparts all around; each mound a living grave.
Volcanic* life lies waiting, waiting...but not for me. I will be gone. I got volcanic though, with a very clear and vivid image. Again, snarky and peevish *'s don't belong in this poem.
The shoots might stir me in my sleep, they in their bed, me in mine;
but I will plant my Salad Blues...before the winter leaves.
Tectak
2015
Notes by request.
* Jeye's Fluid. A very well known outdoor disinfectant and soil steriliser used world-wide by everyone and his dog for rover a century. Unknown in the USA, possibly banned sustance (citation required).
* volcanic. Volcano-like. Used here to imply the classically mound-shaped appearance, with a tendency to erupt metaphors from the apex(peak).( Obsc. USA )

Overall I like this poem immensely, enough to re-read it several times for pure enjoyment. The entire middle of the poem was so sharp-edged and complete an image (of the streaky greenhouse, and the shabby forlorn look of it in the winter) that I now can recall it as if it was a memory of my own. Carry on. Leah.

[Erthona]

"banned sustance"?!?

[milo]

There is also a third word "pendent" which was actually designed for horticultural uses but none of the 3 is superior in any way other than the odd grammatical confusion caused by one and the "tektak" esque inversion created by the other 2.

For clarification, let's take our "sentence":

No ruby fruits, no piercing darts of piping chillies, no eggplants
pendulate, purple-breasted.


In it's current form, we have a list of nouns and a verb (classic english construction although missing the required conjunction) followed by a dangling adjective.  Our assumption is that fruits, chillies and eggplants all pendulate purple-breasted.  It could technically be correct but seems ludicrous to this reader.  The missing conjunction as well as the superfluous comma before purple-breasted are suspect.

[Leah S.]

There is also a third word "pendent" which was actually designed for horticultural uses but none of the 3 is superior in any way other than the odd grammatical confusion caused by one and the "tektak" esque inversion created by the other 2.

For clarification, let's take our "sentence":

No ruby fruits, no piercing darts of piping chillies, no eggplants
pendulate, purple-breasted.


In it's current form, we have a list of nouns and a verb (classic english construction although missing the required conjunction) followed by a dangling adjective.  Our assumption is that fruits, chillies and eggplants all pendulate purple-breasted.  It could technically be correct but seems ludicrous to this reader.  The missing conjunction as well as the superfluous comma before purple-breasted are suspect.

Well, since "pendulate" ain't in the dictionary, I think we can assume the inversion: No fruits. No chillies. No eggplants pendulating purple-breasted.  

[milo]

There is also a third word "pendent" which was actually designed for horticultural uses but none of the 3 is superior in any way other than the odd grammatical confusion caused by one and the "tektak" esque inversion created by the other 2.
For clarification, let's take our "sentence":
No ruby fruits, no piercing darts of piping chillies, no eggplants
pendulate, purple-breasted.
In it's current form, we have a list of nouns and a verb (classic english construction although missing the required conjunction) followed by a dangling adjective.  Our assumption is that fruits, chillies and eggplants all pendulate purple-breasted.  It could technically be correct but seems ludicrous to this reader.  The missing conjunction as well as the superfluous comma before purple-breasted are suspect.

Well, since "pendulate" ain't in the dictionary, I think we can assume the inversion: No fruits. No chillies. No eggplants pendulating purple-breasted.  

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/pendulate

There is an inversion either way, I think I may have confused the casual reader with my sentence construction.

[tectak]

There is also a third word "pendent" which was actually designed for horticultural uses but none of the 3 is superior in any way other than the odd grammatical confusion caused by one and the "tektak" esque inversion created by the other 2.

For clarification, let's take our "sentence":

No ruby fruits, no piercing darts of piping chillies, no eggplants
pendulate, purple-breasted.


In it's current form, we have a list of nouns and a verb (classic english construction although missing the required conjunction) followed by a dangling adjective.  Our assumption is that fruits, chillies and eggplants all pendulate purple-breasted.  It could technically be correct but seems ludicrous to this reader.  The missing conjunction as well as the superfluous comma before purple-breasted are suspect.

Hi Milo,
Yah, in fact..yah, booo and sucks I had the "and " in the original, no comma as you suggest. It was OK but metered lumpily. I and am happy to revert. It is a close call...on balance I usually go with small intestine instinct but am not ruling out tranverse colon. Any takers on this...either way?
I hoped to spread the "pendulate" adjective over eggplant and breast...so the horticultural "pendent" would not do it...it don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing.
Best,
tectak

[Leah S.]

There is also a third word "pendent" which was actually designed for horticultural uses but none of the 3 is superior in any way other than the odd grammatical confusion caused by one and the "tektak" esque inversion created by the other 2.
For clarification, let's take our "sentence":
No ruby fruits, no piercing darts of piping chillies, no eggplants
pendulate, purple-breasted.
In it's current form, we have a list of nouns and a verb (classic english construction although missing the required conjunction) followed by a dangling adjective.  Our assumption is that fruits, chillies and eggplants all pendulate purple-breasted.  It could technically be correct but seems ludicrous to this reader.  The missing conjunction as well as the superfluous comma before purple-breasted are suspect.

Well, since "pendulate" ain't in the dictionary, I think we can assume the inversion: No fruits. No chillies. No eggplants pendulating purple-breasted.  

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/pendulate

There is an inversion either way, I think I may have confused the casual reader with my sentence construction.

I tried, but your link won't show me the definition of pendulate without signing up for a free trial. My ten lb. hard copy of Webster's New Universal Unabridged doesn't have it. I think we should give the author credit for the new word, anyway.

[tectak]

There is also a third word "pendent" which was actually designed for horticultural uses but none of the 3 is superior in any way other than the odd grammatical confusion caused by one and the "tektak" esque inversion created by the other 2.

For clarification, let's take our "sentence":

No ruby fruits, no piercing darts of piping chillies, no eggplants
pendulate, purple-breasted.


In it's current form, we have a list of nouns and a verb (classic english construction although missing the required conjunction) followed by a dangling adjective.  Our assumption is that fruits, chillies and eggplants all pendulate purple-breasted.  It could technically be correct but seems ludicrous to this reader.  The missing conjunction as well as the superfluous comma before purple-breasted are suspect.

Well, since "pendulate" ain't in the dictionary, I think we can assume the inversion: No fruits. No chillies. No eggplants pendulating purple-breasted.  

....and there is more than one dictionary

---

"banned sustance"?!?

...yes. Too many bees.
tectak

---

Well, since "pendulate" ain't in the dictionary, I think we can assume the inversion: No fruits. No chillies. No eggplants pendulating purple-breasted.  

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/pendulate

There is an inversion either way, I think I may have confused the casual reader with my sentence construction.

I tried, but your link won't show me the definition of pendulate without signing up for a free trial. My ten lb. hard copy of Webster's New Universal Unabridged doesn't have it. I think we should give the author credit for the new word, anyway.

I LIKE swinging like a pendulum...they (eggplants) do this as you brush past in a crowded greenhouse. You may carry the innuendo as far as you wish but I fear "pendulate" is slipping from.my grasp towards "pendulous". Shame.
best,
tectak

---

This year I'll grow no greenhouse envy; in truth, no green at all.
No ruby fruits, no piercing darts of piping chillies, no eggplants
pendulate, purple-breasted. Not even one great, golden star I have no problem with pendulate, but there is another word that you have all been neglecting: pendulous. (as in pendulous breasts, which is the image I got.) Webster's doesn't insist that any of the pendant words actually refer to pendulums.
will burst, anticipating pollen; so no zucchini sans my hand.
Winter holds no happy promise, its quaint demise a silent death.
There will be no wake to follow, no joy-filled pots or feast to come.
Instead, the lichened lights grow shaded; unfettered feet lichened light is gorgeous.
of creeping things greyed out the glass, left cracked by autumn winds. Tense switch. Why not just 'grey out'?
Old frost-clear tracks, tell-tales of slugs no longer threatened,
blaze in bands of sun-crisped slime. The summer star will shine benign 'sun-crisped slime' is also perfect.
on bare and barren cedar staging, littered with sharp snail-shell shards;
all victims of the killing days when sulphur fumes formed lethal acid
and black-tar fluid*, watered white, obscured the fragrant panes. footnotes should be banned in poetry, especially if snarky.
If only there was one more season, one more potter, one more yield;
then I would take my chitted set and cut it into sighted slivers, this line confused me completely, not because I was unfamiliar with what was obviously some kind of cutting implement, but because I could not fathom why 'sighted' should be an adjective before 'slivers'. It wasn't until I was writing this comment that I suddenly realized you were talking about the eyes in the potatoes. Here's the problem: the poem works beautifully even if the reader doesn't know exactly what you are planting...do you really want to insist that the reader know?
dip in dust of saffron yellow, dibble but a hand-depth down, I didn't know what specific substance you were referring to, but it was quite clear that it was a treatment for whatever you were planting.
into the mulch of ages. Then gently lower, cover over,
scoop up ramparts all around; each mound a living grave.
Volcanic* life lies waiting, waiting...but not for me. I will be gone. I got volcanic though, with a very clear and vivid image. Again, snarky and peevish *'s don't belong in this poem.
The shoots might stir me in my sleep, they in their bed, me in mine;
but I will plant my Salad Blues...before the winter leaves.
Tectak
2015
Notes by request.
* Jeye's Fluid. A very well known outdoor disinfectant and soil steriliser used world-wide by everyone and his dog for rover a century. Unknown in the USA, possibly banned sustance (citation required).
* volcanic. Volcano-like. Used here to imply the classically mound-shaped appearance, with a tendency to erupt metaphors from the apex(peak).( Obsc. USA )

Overall I like this poem immensely, enough to re-read it several times for pure enjoyment. The entire middle of the poem was so sharp-edged and complete an image (of the streaky greenhouse, and the shabby forlorn look of it in the winter) that I now can recall it as if it was a memory of my own. Carry on. Leah.

Thanks leah,
"pendulate" is well defined in many dictionaries and I like the swinging breasts imagery...I was worried for a while, though.
The only reason I used "greyed" is to imply past inadequacy..."no point in doing anything about it now" attitude. Worth thinking about though.
Best,
tectak

[milo]

For there to be a participle there needs to be a verb to participulate,  I dont think we need a dictionary for that.

While the double entendre is tempting, lets not forget it is peppers,  apples and eggplant s all swinging away purple-breastedly and I don't think a pepper breasted moxy or apple breasted foxy is what you wanted (or was it?).

Do you really get double entendre credit when you are swinging it in our face all purply?

Warning: if you lose pendulate your sentence has no verb and verbs make the baby Jesus smile

[Leah S.]

For there to be a participle there needs to be a verb to participulate,  I dont think we need a dictionary for that.

While the double entendre is tempting, lets not forget it is peppers,  apples and eggplant s all swinging away purple-breastedly and I don't think a pepper breasted moxy or apple breasted foxy is what you wanted (or was it?).

Do you really get double entendre credit when you are swinging it in our face all purply?

Warning: if you lose pendulate your sentence has no verb and verbs make the baby Jesus smile

Purply --

[tectak]

For there to be a participle there needs to be a verb to participulate,  I dont think we need a dictionary for that.

While the double entendre is tempting, lets not forget it is peppers,  apples and eggplant s all swinging away purple-breastedly and I don't think a pepper breasted moxy or apple breasted foxy is what you wanted (or was it?).

Do you really get double entendre credit when you are swinging it in our face all purply?

Warning: if you lose pendulate your sentence has no verb and verbs make the baby Jesus smile

Hi milo,
cr.......edited.
Hmmm. I can do the maths but not even for Jesus would I give up pendulate, now that I have checked the word out myself.
See how you feel about "nor". I blame you for making me do it
Best,
Tom

---

For there to be a participle there needs to be a verb to participulate,  I dont think we need a dictionary for that.

While the double entendre is tempting, lets not forget it is peppers,  apples and eggplant s all swinging away purple-breastedly and I don't think a pepper breasted moxy or apple breasted foxy is what you wanted (or was it?).

Do you really get double entendre credit when you are swinging it in our face all purply?

Warning: if you lose pendulate your sentence has no verb and verbs make the baby Jesus smile

Purply --

...is that purple praiseor purple prose?

[milo]

For there to be a participle there needs to be a verb to participulate,  I dont think we need a dictionary for that.

While the double entendre is tempting, lets not forget it is peppers,  apples and eggplant s all swinging away purple-breastedly and I don't think a pepper breasted moxy or apple breasted foxy is what you wanted (or was it?).

Do you really get double entendre credit when you are swinging it in our face all purply?

Warning: if you lose pendulate your sentence has no verb and verbs make the baby Jesus smile

Hi milo,
cr.......edited.
Hmmm. I can do the maths but not even for Jesus would I give up pendulate, now that I have checked the word out myself.
See how you feel about "nor". I blame you for making me do it
Best,
Tom

---

For there to be a participle there needs to be a verb to participulate,  I dont think we need a dictionary for that.

While the double entendre is tempting, lets not forget it is peppers,  apples and eggplant s all swinging away purple-breastedly and I don't think a pepper breasted moxy or apple breasted foxy is what you wanted (or was it?).

Do you really get double entendre credit when you are swinging it in our face all purply?

Warning: if you lose pendulate your sentence has no verb and verbs make the baby Jesus smile

Purply --

...is that purple praiseor purple prose?

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/purply

---

For there to be a participle there needs to be a verb to participulate,  I dont think we need a dictionary for that.

While the double entendre is tempting, lets not forget it is peppers,  apples and eggplant s all swinging away purple-breastedly and I don't think a pepper breasted moxy or apple breasted foxy is what you wanted (or was it?).

Do you really get double entendre credit when you are swinging it in our face all purply?

Warning: if you lose pendulate your sentence has no verb and verbs make the baby Jesus smile

Hi milo,
cr.......edited.
Hmmm. I can do the maths but  not even for Jesus would I give up pendulate, now that I have checked the word out myself.
See how you feel about "nor". I blame you for making me do it
Best,
Tom

---

well, let's see:

No ruby fruits, no piercing darts of piping chillies, nor eggplants
pendulate, purple-breasted


because we only have 1 verb (pendulate) we have to assume that we have a compund subject, whether exclusionary or inclusionary.  Because you use purple-breasted instead of purple-breastedly, we have to assume you are using pendulate as a linking verb which means we can replace it with any "be" verb just for grammatic clarity.


No fruits, chilies or eggplants are purple-breasted


depends, is this what you /want/ to say?

[tectak]

For there to be a participle there needs to be a verb to participulate,  I dont think we need a dictionary for that.

While the double entendre is tempting, lets not forget it is peppers,  apples and eggplant s all swinging away purple-breastedly and I don't think a pepper breasted moxy or apple breasted foxy is what you wanted (or was it?).

Do you really get double entendre credit when you are swinging it in our face all purply?

Warning: if you lose pendulate your sentence has no verb and verbs make the baby Jesus smile

Hi milo,
cr.......edited.
Hmmm. I can do the maths but  not even for Jesus would I give up pendulate, now that I have checked the word out myself.
See how you feel about "nor". I blame you for making me do it
Best,
Tom

---

Purply --

...is that purple praiseor purple prose?

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/purply

---

For there to be a participle there needs to be a verb to participulate,  I dont think we need a dictionary for that.

While the double entendre is tempting, lets not forget it is peppers,  apples and eggplant s all swinging away purple-breastedly and I don't think a pepper breasted moxy or apple breasted foxy is what you wanted (or was it?).

Do you really get double entendre credit when you are swinging it in our face all purply?

Warning: if you lose pendulate your sentence has no verb and verbs make the baby Jesus smile

Hi milo,
cr.......edited.
Hmmm. I can do the maths but  not even for Jesus would I give up pendulate, now that I have checked the word out myself.
See how you feel about "nor". I blame you for making me do it
Best,
Tom

---

well, let's see:

No ruby fruits, no piercing darts of piping chillies, nor eggplants
pendulate, purple-breasted


because we only have 1 verb (pendulate) we have to assume that we have a compund subject, whether exclusionary or inclusionary.  Because you use purple-breasted instead of purple-breastedly, we have to assume you are using pendulate as a linking verb which means we can replace it with any "be" verb just for grammatic clarity.


No fruits, chilies or eggplants are purple-breasted


depends, is this what you /want/ to say?

Hi milo.
Thanks for sticking with me on this. The shape of the language is now diminishing in its effect on meaning so it must be getting close.
It seems clear to me but it would, wouldn't it?
" there will be no ruby fruits or piping chillies, nor will there be any pendulate purple-breasted eggplants."
So why not say that? Poetry...that's why....bloody poetry

Interesting.
Best,
tectak