Ghost [Warning: Explicit]

[ChristopherSea]

Greetings mongolfiere! This is certainly an emotive piece and the ‘ghost’ metaphor is apropos.
The ending is certainly poignant and haunting as well.

I do think that you could make this more compelling as poetry rather than keep it in the prose style
that it has now. You narrate most of the piece as opposed to illustrating it.

You could also make better use of that ghost to perhaps haunt those espousing bigotry towards your narrator.
As it is now, your ghost is more of an invisible vapor preyed upon by an ignorant public and family for that matter.
I realize helplessness may be the only ghostly property that you want to convey, i.e., a being with no ability to
change the physical world. However, I am just itching/routing for that specter to have some revenge!

I recommend that you wrap yourself in the ghostly veil a bit more and don’t recite every experience in narrative,
as we are much more interested in this fading woman and her feelings and observations than the imbeciles
with their sticks and stones. In doing so, use the umbrella of your core metaphor.

Good luck with your edit and welcome to the site! Cheers/Chris