In Love with The Coffeeshop Girl

[billy]

i have to say i thoroughly enjoyed the read of this.
the narrative is complete with the usage of some good strong images. it has the reader feeling sorry for the first person in the poem great effort.

In Love with The Coffeeshop Girl

Every morning I order a double americano
(So refined!) is so needed?
and a fresh pastry,
(How continental!) i like the separated thoughts of this and the 2nd line.
and write poems about The Coffeeshop Girl. is coffeeshop one word?
(He's probably writing a novel...) he's or she's? or i'm?

The Coffeeshop Girl and I are in love but we're both too shy to admit it. no need for [we're both]
We tell each other in subtle ways. a suggestion would be [show] instead of [tell]
I say things like "Good Morning." I smile. I leave a tip. "good morning" could have it's own line in order to make it pop and to separated the action from the speech. i'd also suggest [i smile and leave a tip]
She says things like "the usual?" and "have a nice day!"

I sit by the window behind a notebook and thick frames. good image that gives the reader a picture of the 1st person in the poem
Another notebook with thick frames sits at the counter, more thick frames with laptops sit at tables. i really like this line but would suggest breaking it down a little.
They say things like "Good Morning." They smile. They leave a tip. again i'd suggest a [good morning] on it's own line and as awell as [an leave a tip]
She says things like "the usual?" and "have a nice day!" i love the pain this stanza imparts. knowing that he's one of many like minded customers must be crucifying him,

We all order double americanos.
(So predictable!)
We all eat the fresh pastries.
(How cliché!)
We write all poems about The Coffeeshop Girl. [we all write poems] reads better for me here
(He's probably just like the rest...) this line feels ambiguous as to who he is.
We're all in love with The Coffeeshop Girl.