In the Night

[billy]

great effort. sorry if my feedback is a lot to digest, mainly their nits for you to think about, in general the poem feels a little wordy, and the cap to start each line doesn't add to the poem. it's a hard subject to  write good poetry about but with a good couple of edits you'll get there. i would have liked to have seen a bit more depth to poem and the 1st person in relation to the night

*In The Night
I like the darkness would this make a better title?
It falls over me
Like a warm cloud how do warm clouds fall?
Seemingly unaware of its mystery no need for [seemingly]
It trespasses upon others,
But enlivens me. how/why?
The darkness refuses to speak, i'd be very scared if it did, a suggestion would be to rework this line into something less obvious.
But insists on enveloping me. no need for [but]
I kick, I scream, I laugh, I cry, just use the one [I]
And am renewed by the night. no need for [and]

I like the darkness
For I am alone in my thoughts period or comma here

And the night is my canvas no need for [and] and [is]
With endless possibilities.
Every night the stars may sparkle,
And the stars may fade, [or] instead of [and]
The moon may shine
And the moon may wane same as the line above or for and
But the night remains, here is where i'd advise the poem end as the last line is a sort of given and feels a little trite
A portal to the universe.