An Effort Unnoticed

[vrryan]

This is a dark poem from when I was in a dark time.
This is my second go at this one. Hope this is a better start than my last one. Thanks again for the help.
Edit One:
AN EFFORT UNNOTICED
I though we were meant for each other. thought*
I loved you so much.
All I wanted was for it to be returned.
I put forth ever effort possible.comma
But you ignored it all.

I worked harder and harder.use another word instead of harder but not its synonym to avoid redundancy
And you still brushed it aside. But* positive to negative
You asked for all that I had and I gave and gave. cancel the other gave and replace it like 'everything'
But you threw it all away.
All that I had is good intentions. are*
You said it doesn't matter. replace this line, doesn't suit right

No matter how hard I worked. comma not period
You really did not care. cancel really and change the sentence structure
Then you picked a fight. I suggest you change the picked with started
Only for both of us to get hurt. add the between for and both
We both did wrong.

Our feelings were all mixed up. comma
So depression sets in.
I tried to stay happy.
I force the smiles and laughter,laughters*
but that's all gone now.was*

Deeper into sadness I went. change the sentence structure
I held on for as long as I could.
I began to lose interest in everything. instead of 'in everything', use this 'on the things I used to enjoy
My hopes and dreams began to fad from my thoughts. fade*
I did not feel the burning desire of love and passion any more. instead of using anymore, make another line like 'which I felt when I was into you' or something like that
All that I once was is gone now. All that I once had was all gone now*

I am dead inside.expand this

I am so sorry if I had a mistake criticizing your poem. Don't worry, I really like the concept of your poem, and I can relate to this.