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The Radio Says It's the End of the World But Only As We Know It
The world started with a mystery,
life and death:
Lenny Bruce is not O.K.
5:30 in the evening,
August 4th, the wind in the willows plays a tune on the reed;
and Syd Barrett died the night we were abducted by the road.
Where am I now? Six years later,
almost 6 now, this warm evening.
Where do I go from here?
Another like any other,
August night,
late now; Leonard Bernstein on the radio that won't work without electricity.
Since the moon is almost not even there in the sky,
whether it's just not come up far enough yet or what,
we only see the stars for a while.
It's late night now.
And in the morning it's still hot,
there's really not much to do:
Only I had to tell my friend that "We Didn't Start the Fire" was a completely different song.
Hey, you've got nice symbolism on your poem. You could'v make the Title shorter and understandable so the readers' won't be reading a long boring title. Your 'now's are redundant. I think your "5:30 in the evening" isn't really that important, and after the reed is a ";" and you are still using "and" on the next line.
I'm not a good critique so I'm very sorry if I had a mistake on giving crits.
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You think the word 'now' is redundant, what about the word 'only'? I use it a couple times near the end, and it's even in the title.
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(09-30-2014, 08:12 PM)vrryan Wrote: Hey, you've got nice symbolism on your poem. You could'v make the Title shorter and understandable so the readers' won't be reading a long boring title. Your 'now's are redundant. I think your "5:30 in the evening" isn't really that important, and after the reed is a ";" and you are still using "and" on the next line.
I'm not a good critique so I'm very sorry if I had a mistake on giving crits.
"Nice symbolism." You can do better than that. What symbols stuck out to you? Where do you think the writer drew from? You said the title is boring. Elaborate. I personally dig the title...but I like REM. It's not a bad thing to just say "I enjoyed the read" in the proper section.
sorry if I'm harsh...no amount of negative criticism will convince a writer to stop writing. I do have a tendency to "kill the bunny" and I'm sorry about that.
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It's all right. It's not like I gave anybody much to work with.
But I did wonder what the nice symbolism was.
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(10-01-2014, 04:48 AM)rowens Wrote: It's all right. It's not like I gave anybody much to work with.
But I did wonder what the nice symbolism was.
me too
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I just had to bet on someone knowing the REM song.
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was unaware there existed people that didn't know about that song. I'm naive.
l'anonymous faux
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I thought it was pretty cool that you used "its the end of the world" in your poem. It made it more relatable to me while reading it. However I can't really put into context what your poem means. It may be that I am a novice at reading poetry, but can anyone help me out?
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(10-01-2014, 06:11 AM)lanonymous faux Wrote: I thought it was pretty cool that you used "its the end of the world" in your poem. It made it more relatable to me while reading it. However I can't really put into context what your poem means. It may be that I am a novice at reading poetry, but can anyone help me out?
sorry, that's not what we do here >  <
give it time
what matters is what it means to you, if anything at all
To me the poem is about going on the road, touring...and afterwards coming to terms with the comparative banality of radio. Is that what the writer meant? Maybe. Now, what reaaaallly matters is if you can back up your opinions with citing the literary techniques the writer drew on.
l'anonymous faux
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Thanks, I appreciate that, I'll keep that to heart. I've been taught all my life that there is a wrong and a right answer, so I'll try my best to deprogram that the next time around.
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(10-01-2014, 06:48 AM)lanonymous faux Wrote: Thanks, I appreciate that, I'll keep that to heart. I've been taught all my life that there is a wrong and a right answer, so I'll try my best to deprogram that the next time around.
Sorry you had bad English teachers. You are in the right place...there are some gems to be discovered for you here if you're open enough for it.
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rowens,
You left out Lester Bangs, but put in Billy Joel, that's incredibility odd.
You were abducted on July 7, 2006? That's odd, that's the night my dog was abducted, of course he's from Sirius, so maybe it's more like catching a ride than being abducted.
Quote:"August 4th, the wind in the willows plays a tune on the reed;
and Syd Barrett died the night we were abducted by the road."
If you are going to use "and", I would drop the semicolon.
There's no symbolism here, maybe an embolism, but that's always the case with you: you never give me your money...
Anyway, it's the Journey you take to Boston, after you hang a right at Kansas and before you cross the Styx, the end isn't important, and other cliche like things, like wings, like dings. Nobody's gonna anal probe me... until they lube me up. Merry X-mas, god is dead: hari krishna. The night it all change while the father's son ate a piece of toast. Goodnight Chicago!
dale
.
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
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If I am going to use "and", you would drop the semicolon?
I dig deeper meanings to poems though. This is just my own interpretations on the poem.
This "Radio", for me symbolizes those problems that we thought we can never solve.
This "Radio" tells us that we can never solve them. In fact, we could. It tells us that your world has
to end, but this is just an illusion. So solve that "Radio" off!
"Since the moon is almost not even there in the sky,
whether it's just not come up far enough yet or what,
we only see the stars for a while. "
We all know problems have solutions but we can't easily solve it for a short period of time.
The Moon symbolizes to "Positive Thoughts" and stars symbolize to "Hopes". Negative thoughts may arise and conquer, but there is little hope
that's within. For me, these lines' message is about "Never despair". Remember, these hopes may seem small, but there are millions of them, like stars lurking in deep voids.
This is just my own interpretation. But if these were literal things, then these interpretation of mine is useless, I guess.
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The Radio part is a good interpretation. The radio says lots of things, mixed media, mixed information. Meaning means little, split second phases, wires crossed, album release dates, song lyric logic, it's all one day like Janis Joplin said they learned on the train, schizophrenic associations and cultural conglomerations, mostly long years of run of the mill excitement, boredom.
And that's not just the radio. It's a symbol and not a symbol at the same time.
Your interpretation isn't useless even if they are literal things.
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