09-23-2014, 10:23 AM
(09-23-2014, 02:26 AM)cjchaffin Wrote:(09-23-2014, 01:24 AM)Tamara Wrote: thethis is a wave waltz, yes?
shore beck-onswaves tohurl their shellsempty.theyleave im-permanentprints before be-ing wiped bythe pullandthe pushof risingwatersthatwash a-shore
A modern form written in a single stanza of nineteen lines. The lines are extremely short with a specific syllable count which is: 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4, 3, 2, 1, 2, 3, 2, 1, 2, 1. The form is so loose it not only allows enjambment, but actual splitting of words to fit the form.
just for clarification...
i'm not sure if the split words here work. it almost makes the read too choppy, and i wonder if the poem would benefit from standard strophes. for example:
the shore beckons
waves to hurltheir shellsempty.
they leaveimpermanent printsbefore being wipedby the pull
and the pushof risingwaters
or something to that effect. what do you think? i like the content, i just don't know if the form works here.
yes, it is a wave waltz. it reads better in strophes. i was trying to do something different. but maybe it does not work for this poem.



