Through the Window Light. Edit 1Chris,abu

[tectak]

"Elegies in Country Church-yard" Well both writer's names start with Tom, so it must be so!

Not even the crack of dawn is safe with you Tom, are you sure it's "udders veined to burst"? or is that in an utter vain?

Well it does have the break in the line like alliterative verse, or maybe that's a typo?

To me some of the longer line read awkwardly S1L1-2, and S4 L1-2.

And really Tom "polyester". And what does "tease the polyester knots from wire"It is a brit thing. Farmers tie gates shut with frayed and knotted polyester twine, usually bright dayglo orange. After a number of tying and untying events the bloody knots become the twine and so rather than try to unravel the stuff or replace it the next step is to start hooking it into the barbed wire ubiquitously used to fence in everything, including grass, wheat, potatoes, rape, linseed etc. Opening gates becomes a artform and finding new ways to secure them again is likewise considered.
"puddled silver rivets, nailed by gnarled and leant" I didn't know rivets were nailed, I could have sworn they were riveted. The track is long and uneven. In the low dawn sun puddles appeared to be rivets holding it down. At the sides, or edge of the track vestiges of blackthorn delineate the route...they are sparse, wind bent and have been subjected to coarse pruning...a unique agricultural term which involves thrashing the tops off with a cylinder full of whirling chains. The "shrubbed" trees looked like bent nails from a mile away. That is all. I don't do obscure...just unclear.

And when you say, " nailed by gnarled and leant, bent trees." do you mean they were nailed nearby leant, bent trees, or did these arthritic trees do the nailing themselves?

I do like this stanza, or whatever you call them:

"Greened up beaded scented miles, sods cling clumped on ten ton boots,
agape around his crusted uppers, flapping, slapping, stepping, morn.
stomp the land
stomp the clay
stomp away."

Not only does it read fairly smoothly, but it paints a clear picture of walking through mud, and almost gives it a mythic feel.

So this is a mixed bag for me, but maybe I'm to dense ti understand what it is you are doing here.

Dale

Thanks Dale. I will tinker with this. I am told by a friend to rename it "Safe as m
Milk" but I will let you enjoy googling why. It is though, for me, a plausible denial of "stylecopyingplagiarism".
Best,
tectak