The Embrace of Creation

[Alex13]

A vivid love story. I love the rhythm and flow. Lovely

How was it a vivid love story what did you love about the rhythm and flow (are they different things?)

poets need a lot more posts under the belt before feedback like this counts as feedback. please leave more than a one liner. /mod

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the opening line and the last two lines of the 1st stanza worked for me. i can grasp the reason for the sweat and spiritual love, and how the culmination of sex makes a person a person. the rest feels to convoluted. very little is tied to anything solid. one [love in any poem should be enough] this has 4 i think.

The ultimate connection with creation.
Outpouring love energized,
words incompetently describe,
feelings before or since.
All channels open and forgotten …
our unique moment for body and soul,
electrified and infused;
overwhelmed by physical instinct and spiritual love,
drenched in sweat, blessings and grace.
I AM made.

Bathed with intention of love and commitment,
an image transforms the instant of love …
Into me.
A new being, confirming God’s eternal love,
with each breadth taken.

I apologize. I sometimes find it hard to critique someone else's work when I have so much to improve on myself. It makes me feel like a hypocrite when I have so much to learn, I'm working on it! So here it goes ...

This piece took me somewhere almost ethereal. It took me back to a reoccurring dream I used to have about an almost impossible kind of love. An inexplicable love. So in that regard I connected to its basic idea - the spiritual connection of love.
Some of the imagery could be interpreted as repetitive, personally I would love to know more about the 'physical instinct'. The predictability of the human condition in terms of loving someone else is an interesting concept. You have left me very intrigued and have given me a lot to think about.