Cage

[Keith]

You have the bones of something here, however you need to be more concise and focus on the key theme and what it is you want your poem to say. Some of the images you present are vivid but I feel they are wasted as they don't help the reader understand, this could just be me of course. Some of the lines don't make sense for example:-

I believed in world,
The river flow I followed

Have a go at an edit and try to bring out the theme and cut back some of the wordiness.

There were the times when I believed in world
could be
At times I believed in the world

Best Keith

There were the times when I believed in world,
the times when I thought I was strong.
I waited for hope to bring my dreams to life,
I waited for a smile to get back home

The river flow I followed,
with the strength of the suns brightest rays,
led me to the imprisonment.
My very own thoughts captured me

Like a wounded animal looking for a shelter,
I was looking for a lost path.
There was no sun to keep me warm,
no life in me to keep me going on

Reminiscing about the nights, dark and bright,
I wondered which one could have made me fly.
In history that I willingly made,
memories are what I blame