10-28-2013, 03:57 AM
The word choice makes me really uncomfortable. I don't mean to suggest I dislike it or anything, only the imagery it conjures for me is..lewd
Willowy virgin, feminine yet phallic, with a reference to choking on pearly, hot liquid secretions. I imagine those love secretions had something to with darting tongues over your nakedness:p
Maybe it's because I'm a bit rough, but draping sex in flowers makes it seem so much nasty. An example: my mum's family used to call vaginas "sneaks", which remains for me the single grossest word in the English language now.
Sorry I don't have any real critique for you, other than the poem is very well written and made me very uncomfortable
Willowy virgin, feminine yet phallic, with a reference to choking on pearly, hot liquid secretions. I imagine those love secretions had something to with darting tongues over your nakedness:p
Maybe it's because I'm a bit rough, but draping sex in flowers makes it seem so much nasty. An example: my mum's family used to call vaginas "sneaks", which remains for me the single grossest word in the English language now.
Sorry I don't have any real critique for you, other than the poem is very well written and made me very uncomfortable
If I could say only one thing before I die, it'd probably be,
"Please don't kill me"
"Please don't kill me"