Cupid Knows Best

[jdeirmend]

Hi Granny,

I enjoy the problems/questions explored in this, as much as the resolution. I know most people tend to focus on the mere presence of images, etc., but to be able to form a narrative arc like you have, within a classic form, is as much a challenge as anything else. Here's my critique:

I wish the story explored love in a way that added some new insight to it. Within the narrative arc, L4 & L5 feel as if they are sort of filler lines, i.e., the execution of the rhyming lines could possibly offer a more compelling story. "Writ large upon his victim's chart", to be specific, doesn't consider the question as to why cupid selected the speaker for love, in a light that hadn't been explored yet.

L9 I can't get to fit to what I gander to say is otherwise perfect pentameter. (Someone correct me if my scan is wrong here).

Hope that helps,
James

James,
hmYOU maySAY thatLOVE willBRING meBLISS
Am I right?

The period after Hm. in the original would seem to bar that possibility.