Equus Resurrection

[ChristopherSea]

Hi Chris,

Let's take another pass at this. Sometimes I look over a poem and think what lines would make the most interesting first line, and then I rewrite from those new options.

I think your strongest lines for openings are probably(in no particular order):

her nature had elements of boot leather

I recall her sun-sluiced silhouette

I almost forgot this wild appaloosa,

You know when I see them like this If you keep the current sequence you probably need to put a had before almost and go with forgotten. You already graphically recalled her in a previous strophe.

That said I think any of these lines could work quite well. The second is the strongest and might be an interesting close also if done properly. I'm thinking the third one might be your entry.

If you went that way you could move to

as I navigated abrasive horsetails,
along with stampeding memories
of when she corralled me in study hall,
with that lengthy kiss that roped me in.
Not quite an Ivory Snow Girl,
her nature had elements of boot leather,
all saddle-soaped and snorting tannin.
Russet locks whipped quietly freckled shoulders,

I didn't bother to correct the punctuation issues my cuts made. I just went with a fast cut to give you some ideas.


Just some thoughts.

Best,

Todd

Todd, good thoughts as always. I am going the 'sun-sluiced' path. I made most of the cuts in s1 and half of s2, the remainder conbined with s3. I am still working on the close. I will probably bring the living fossil line up. I am still hooked on the rasping fronds becoming comforting, as it plays into the dominance/submission theme and then the understanding of the living fossil feeling. Much Oliged Master!