12-31-2009, 01:47 PM
It's a comma that's needed: Veins, wild rivers
Or possibly, a question mark: Veins? Wild rivers
Or even a colon (though I don't think colons are very poetic) : Veins: wild rivers
Vein's would be incorrect--it's a plural noun not a possessive. But the missing punctuation means you scan it as possessive--you assume the wild rivers are attributes of the veins, then have to correct your misunderstanding which interrupts the flow.
It's a single metaphor so splitting it across lines wouldn't be appropriate.
As for a title? I've no idea. I'm a technician not a poet.
Or possibly, a question mark: Veins? Wild rivers
Or even a colon (though I don't think colons are very poetic) : Veins: wild rivers
Vein's would be incorrect--it's a plural noun not a possessive. But the missing punctuation means you scan it as possessive--you assume the wild rivers are attributes of the veins, then have to correct your misunderstanding which interrupts the flow.
It's a single metaphor so splitting it across lines wouldn't be appropriate.
As for a title? I've no idea. I'm a technician not a poet.
"The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool."