No One Knows Her

[ChristopherSea]

Hello lukejones and welcome to the site. The first thing that I noticed about your poem is that the structure and content is held hostage by rhyme. Each stanza has two or more lines that sound like reversals for the purpose of rhyme. The first stanza has three of them, followed by a proper sentence, but it is unrelated to the others, thereby sacrificed for rhyme. This makes lines sound awkward, but they can be readily fixed. Some offenders and possible fixes would be:

From: A spark that once flashed, gone, no longer aware.
To: The spark that once flashed is no longer there.
From: No more dreams, all diminished
To: The impact of her dreams has diminished.
From: The good times to come now she would miss
To: There are so many good times that she will miss.
From: A tunnel and light away from her mind
To: There's no light in the tunnel of her mind.

I am not saying these fit your poem specifically, just illustrating how to iron them out. Also, a closer adherence to syllable count would sharpen the meter (8-13 syls herein). I would try a rewrite with no adherence to rhyme to craft good lines that flow and then perhaps try rhyming them again. Leaving some natural line terminations and rhyming every other helps to make a poem sound less constrained. One question to ask yourself, Do we know anymore about her after reading the poem? Good luck!