Colourful language is just fine 
You could tighten up a few lines as you get more familiar with the way that meter and rhyme work together but for now, it's great that you're thinking in creative and interesting ways... although I now have the Postman Pat tune stuck in my head, with the Gaelic lyrics for extra irritation. Thanks for that.
And then I re-read it and a strange hybrid of Michael Jackson v Postman Pat started happening... "it doesn't matter if you're dubh nó bán"...
OK, enough rambling. One main thing to beware of as you go forward: try to avoid inverted syntax just to make a rhyme work (eg. did sit). It sounds as though the rhyme is in charge of you, rather than the other way around.
It's silly, funny, entertaining -- a fair way from perfect, but a good enough philosophy to work with for now.
You could tighten up a few lines as you get more familiar with the way that meter and rhyme work together but for now, it's great that you're thinking in creative and interesting ways... although I now have the Postman Pat tune stuck in my head, with the Gaelic lyrics for extra irritation. Thanks for that.
And then I re-read it and a strange hybrid of Michael Jackson v Postman Pat started happening... "it doesn't matter if you're dubh nó bán"...
OK, enough rambling. One main thing to beware of as you go forward: try to avoid inverted syntax just to make a rhyme work (eg. did sit). It sounds as though the rhyme is in charge of you, rather than the other way around.
It's silly, funny, entertaining -- a fair way from perfect, but a good enough philosophy to work with for now.
It could be worse