The Darkness of Beauty

[billy]

hi jack. no line by from me.

the poem in general feels very wordy and needs something for the reader to latch on to.
the whole 1st stanza
says;

a derelict house
at dusk
with beauty in the title and beautiful on the 4th line of such a short poem weakens the poem too much. i'd suggest changing the title.

What is so painfully beautiful about this,
as the sinking sun assures ancient times
that this time too will pass?

what is the above actually saying? i think the poem needs a lot of work. i have no suggestions on how to go about an edit, for which i'm sorry. you know i often say, "this is one of your best" this time i can only say "this one isn't" it has a spark where you mention the dying artist, but it's a dim one.

thanks for the read

A boarded-up building,
its boards defaced,
in an empty street laced with silence
at dusk.

What is so painfully beautiful about this,
as the sinking sun assures ancient times
that this time too will pass?
The crudely drawn man on one of the boards,
beside some farce about reclaiming masculinity,
might as well be chicken scratch on a cave wall,
by an artist who soon, in the open, will die.
I want to cry, but won't.