The Darkness of Beauty
#14
(07-29-2013, 02:45 AM)Heslopian Wrote:  A boarded-up building,
its boards defaced,
in an empty street laced with silence
at dusk.

What is so painfully beautiful about this,
as the sinking sun assures ancient times
that this time too will pass?
I think this part is pulled off really effectively. It's something of a shame that the description above and below these lines isn't clearer, so as to better demonstrate the point you make so well explicitly here.
The crudely drawn man on one of the boards,
beside some farce about reclaiming masculinity,
might as well be chicken scratch on a cave wall,
by an artist who soon, in the open, will die.
I want to cry, but won't.
Also, (and I know excessive critique of titles can be irritating, but) I'm not keen on the title. Titles that are entirely abstract (by which I mean abstract in a formal sense, not abstract as in vague) I always find are a bit lazy; would it not be better to use something that tries to encapsulate this idea rather than state it outright in this way?
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Messages In This Thread
The Darkness of Beauty - by heslopian - 07-29-2013, 02:45 AM
RE: The Darkness of Beauty - by rowens - 07-29-2013, 02:55 AM
RE: The Darkness of Beauty - by milo - 07-29-2013, 03:16 AM
RE: The Darkness of Beauty - by heslopian - 07-29-2013, 03:52 AM
RE: The Darkness of Beauty - by milo - 07-29-2013, 03:58 AM
RE: The Darkness of Beauty - by heslopian - 07-29-2013, 04:42 AM
RE: The Darkness of Beauty - by trueenigma - 07-29-2013, 06:30 AM
RE: The Darkness of Beauty - by R.C. KITCHENS - 07-29-2013, 07:15 AM
RE: The Darkness of Beauty - by heslopian - 07-29-2013, 07:36 AM
RE: The Darkness of Beauty - by newsclippings - 07-29-2013, 10:00 PM
RE: The Darkness of Beauty - by heslopian - 07-29-2013, 10:47 PM
RE: The Darkness of Beauty - by newsclippings - 07-29-2013, 10:57 PM
RE: The Darkness of Beauty - by heslopian - 07-29-2013, 11:11 PM
RE: The Darkness of Beauty - by GrhmJngL - 07-31-2013, 05:46 AM
RE: The Darkness of Beauty - by billy - 07-31-2013, 11:02 AM
RE: The Darkness of Beauty - by heslopian - 07-31-2013, 11:00 PM
RE: The Darkness of Beauty - by rowens - 07-31-2013, 11:17 PM



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