This mind that grinds & twists beneath the skin

[billy]

a solid effort at the sonnet, the meter seems okay, the rhyme, even the half rhyme, loom/doomed works well enough. i get the image of a hanging, both the hangman and prisoner wearing hoods. i get confused as to who the narrator is.
not sure the title should be the whole 1st line and though it's only preference i prefer a cap to start a sentence only when punctuation dictates.

thanks for the read.

This mind that grinds & twists beneath the skin, ampersands in poetry are lazy
Like flaxen rope that tightens 'round the doomed: i get the noose part and like the image
It mortifies for what it knows as sin.
The hangman's wife, she smiles over the loom , i stumbled on over,
And weaves a dress that binds around the chest
His breath to make confined and stutter short,
Though freer than the suffocated breast
On which he softly treads and pulls athwart. i like athwart even though it's archaic. (it fits the poem)

At dawn he dons his hood and hands me mine.
Like guilty lovers thrust into the light,
Though impotent from cowardice and wine,
We consummate the wedding of delight so you don hoods to consummate a wedding? i thought this was pretty clever if i get it right
And that which will destroy us all in time, feels wordy and meter forced.
As Thanatos and Eros realign. i wouldn't expect this line in this poem.

I know myself that this is might be a bit unclear or abstract, but I don't really know.