06-02-2013, 06:44 AM
Hi again Sam,
it is a definite improvement - it's starting to really take shape. There's just a few lines that I was focusing on (I probably rambled on and wasn't very clear) that you could swop the words around a bit:
- Still an overdose, it seems.
-Blues is what I am, that’s true.
Otherwise I have no more critique, it's a lovely poem
it is a definite improvement - it's starting to really take shape. There's just a few lines that I was focusing on (I probably rambled on and wasn't very clear) that you could swop the words around a bit:
- Still an overdose, it seems.
-Blues is what I am, that’s true.
Otherwise I have no more critique, it's a lovely poem
- Amy
(You wouldn't be surprised to know my parents did not christen me UnicornRainbowCake.)
(You wouldn't be surprised to know my parents did not christen me UnicornRainbowCake.)