05-31-2013, 09:30 AM
undefined
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Sadness, Depression, Self harm, Darkness
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05-31-2013, 09:30 AM
undefined
05-31-2013, 09:41 AM
hi tiana, i liked it for the fact a poet is starting a journey. craft-wise it's lacking in most area. you're telling a story as you would in prose, the only difference is the line lengths. cut most of it away and what's you have left will be the basis for your poem. remove anything that's already been said in a different way somewhere else in the poem. pare away the statements like the ones in the last 4 lines
05-31-2013, 02:10 PM
I am seeing "undefined" as the poem. Is that just me?
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson
05-31-2013, 02:14 PM
05-31-2013, 03:12 PM
This may be one of the best examples of brevity in verse I have read in a long while!!!
05-31-2013, 05:35 PM
i think my feedback was the reason the poem was pulled.
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