04-30-2013, 10:37 AM
High Zerric
This bounces along simply and you have a reasonably well balanced meter but it could do with looking at in some places ie 3rd line S1 is a bit clunky, If you were to show us what lonely is instead of telling us then your poem could be improved. I enjoyed the limerick feel you gave this. Hope this help TOMH
This bounces along simply and you have a reasonably well balanced meter but it could do with looking at in some places ie 3rd line S1 is a bit clunky, If you were to show us what lonely is instead of telling us then your poem could be improved. I enjoyed the limerick feel you gave this. Hope this help TOMH
If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out