02-21-2013, 07:07 AM
Hi Hobbit, from what I
Hi Hobbit, having read your pre amble to the poem I wonder do you read out loud to yourself what you write and how much you edit before posting. I reckon you could lose quite a lot of this to tighten it up .Do you use a rhyming dictionary or on line rhyming site, I think that would help avoid the obvious rhyme pattern you fall into which can make a poem sound clumsy. Have you read anything by Felix Dennis, he is the master of rhyme and maybe reading his poetry would help you improve which on reading your profile is what you want to do. Enjoy reading your posts
Smiffy
Hi Hobbit, having read your pre amble to the poem I wonder do you read out loud to yourself what you write and how much you edit before posting. I reckon you could lose quite a lot of this to tighten it up .Do you use a rhyming dictionary or on line rhyming site, I think that would help avoid the obvious rhyme pattern you fall into which can make a poem sound clumsy. Have you read anything by Felix Dennis, he is the master of rhyme and maybe reading his poetry would help you improve which on reading your profile is what you want to do. Enjoy reading your posts
Smiffy
never make someone your priority when to them you are only an option