New Old Hat

[Todd]

Hello oligoclonal, welcome to the site!

I very much enjoyed your poem. There were some strong lines and much of the content resonated with me. Here are some comments for you below for your consideration:

I love words but I stopped reading--effective first line. You could likely do without the second instance of I
about two years ago when my eyes altogether--This flirts with being a bit too much like prose (for my tastes). If there are words that can be cut that might actually remove some of that feel and enhance the poem without sacrificing tone or content. Words you might consider cutting here are "about" and "altogether". I would also consider pulling stopped up a line not just for the symmetry with the earlier line, but to layer the meaning to imply blindness only to undo it on the next line when you add the loss of joy.
stopped finding joy in it. Late nights by a hallway’s glow after family went to bed
or in college or at any time in my life at any time of the day
are now memories included in The Life I Had which truth be told
is comprised mainly of troubled working parts I abandon with great relief.--I very much like the ideas here. Especially the troubled working parts and the idea of abandoning them with great relief. That portion is very interesting. Hallway's glow is a nice image for giving a hidden warm joy to the act of reading. I feel you could compress most of this and get to the interesting end parts sooner. It feels a little too wordy for accomplishing your purposes

I once had a favorite book but have no idea if it would now befit –
while it for so long encompassed the whole of me I no longer know
that it could anymore or which new story might. To simply listen
still robs the grit of lines embossed into a page; their shape and span and ink
made as much a story as the words they built. Whether or not, even,
there was a serif made the personality of each letter
as they appeared on a stage with curtains scalloped in the center .

Here there are elements that I like. "I once had a favorite book" is a good opening for the strophe. You might be able to skip to this part next: "it for so long encompassed the whole of me" I'm not trying to rewrite what you're saying. I do like the tone and cadence, but I think you can hold it together with fewer words. The entire grit of lines, the serif, the printing as important as the writing idea, the curtains scalloped are all beautifully done. I'd like to see them pop more.

I love painting but my vision burns the edges or middle off
details in the whole when I stand back to scrutinize its details. I cannot trust
my hands with the curves of a body or especially the fine grout in an eyelid.
I love walking but every proper or misstep fires from groin through thighs and
I love sleeping but do so now best in smaller increments during certain times and
I love swallowing and I love having an even pulse and I love
thinking outside the fog of frayed axons and I love
remembering and I love
I love I love
silver linings. I love knowing
why it is
I have become so very, very good at falling.

This litany of I love...is really well done. It picks up the pace in a rush. Again though there are some repetitions that could be cut like "to scrutinize its details." All of the shorter parts on sleeping, and swallowing, and pulse work really well. I like the repetition of I love, I love as well as the very, very in the final line. Great ending by the way. I also think your cynical reference to the cliched "silver linings" redeems it and it works quite well.

I could have went line by line, but I wanted to be careful. I like what you've built. I think it has emotional power. I'd like to see what you could do with it if you chose to revise by paring it down some. I hope some of that was helpful.

Best,

Todd