01-25-2013, 08:35 AM
Hello and welcome! I'm going to take a few more reads of this and let it settle before I give you a full critique, but please don't think it's being ignored -- it's wonderful to see your quite unique style on show. There are a few things I'd probably change but I want to make sure they'll strengthen the poem, which is why I really need to immerse myself in your kind of writing rather than trying to impose my own stylistic choices.
It might take me a day or so. I'm not speedy
It might take me a day or so. I'm not speedy
It could be worse