Blue Eyes

[corawrites]

So first of all, good job for finally putting your work out there for people to see! I do think this is poetry. I believe this is prose poetry? It's essentially in the form of prose (no traditional measures/rhythms/rhymes) but with the imagery or eloquence of poetry. I think. Something along those lines!
Anyway, good work with this, although I'm not sure I understand the "bang" onomatopoeia because you relate the sound to a blade, which, well, doesn't go "bang".