last call

[Todd]

Hi Lightbaron, I like the dialect. I believe the speaker you've established. My only real issue with the poem is the non-capitalized i's. Whenever I see these they feel self conscious to me. They draw attention to themselves. There are times when they work, but for the most part they signal to the reader that they are reading something, and they hinder the ability to be lost in the poem. This is a nice poem so that's a shame. It's like in prose when fiction writers go with he interjected, she questioned, he screamed...when 99% of the time they should use he said, she said because it blends into the background.

Best,

Todd