12-11-2012, 09:57 AM
the last stanza was a little forced but i was trying to make it visually striking and i was attempting to illustrate my feelings of being trapped in a dead end job thats going nowhere i think what im going to do is scratch the last stanza and write some more impressions from work ill take your advice and show the drive home and ill try to work in my feelings of being trapped later. i wish i could figure out how to make my reader see it through the eyes of a 3rd shift person but if this poem only ends up being relatable with other third shift people then so be it.