In the void with you

[Philatone]

hi thomas!
some thoughts for you

In between the
Moon and land,

Between the infinite
stars and sand...draws up comparisons between moon and stars, land and sand, perhaps suggesting the first stanza is more finite in some ways, just as infinite in others

Two travelled one, ...this feels like a baby to me. i'm almost convinced it works...
Hand in hand.


Somewhere between the
Land and moon

You floated too,

In the space between the
Void and you,

One travelled two.

so much is hinging on the "one travelled two" and vice-versa lines. for me, grammar and semantics are letting me down for both. perhaps if the title aimed to described the one or two objects themselves, it would be a bit stronger. i'm fine with the repetitions you used (they felt fresh enough for me). just some ideas. thanks for sharing