Play the violin again edit 2. leanne,serge.edit 1 milo,svan,rc,billy, serge et al

[serge gurkski]

,-) as to my Teutonic Bass (cool expression, btw) not sure. Ask heartafire. She knows my voice.

I am just imagining, haha, me reciting my wonderful bs in a deep voice. I dunno.
Now I must ask Holly(heart) was sie davon hielte. ,-) Have to ask her what she thinks about the idea)

cheers

Le serge lui-meme

[DeviousKid45]

Edit 2

Play the violin again;
from hands that flit
let lightly slip
a sigh.
Fold forward into flesch
and scoop the ecstasy.
Sweep low and bow
to Symphony's allure. Thanks leanne.
Your tender notes will soothe the strings;
we rise, on softly wafting wings,
in air so thin, bells scarcely ring,
and there I hear the sky.


Edit 1
Play the violin again;
from hands that flit
let lightly slip
a sigh.
Fold forward into flesch
and scoop the ecstasy.
Sweep low to bow
to music’s tempting ways.
Your tender notes will soothe the strings;
we rise, on softly wafting wings,
in air so thin, bells scarcely ring,
and there I hear the sky.

Original:

Play the violin again;
let hands that flit so lightly
slip a sigh.
Fold forward into flesch
and scoop the ecstasy;
sweep low to bow
to music’s tempting ways.
Your tender notes will soothe the strings,
I rise on softly wafting wings
in air so thin, bells scarcely ring,
but there I hear the sky.

Tectak
1992

I really love the imagery used here. As for the structure, it's nice and short

[tectak]

Edit 2

Play the violin again;
from hands that flit
let lightly slip
a sigh.
Fold forward into flesch
and scoop the ecstasy.
Sweep low and bow
to Symphony's allure. Thanks leanne.
Your tender notes will soothe the strings;
we rise, on softly wafting wings,
in air so thin, bells scarcely ring,
and there I hear the sky.


Edit 1
Play the violin again;
from hands that flit
let lightly slip
a sigh.
Fold forward into flesch
and scoop the ecstasy.
Sweep low to bow
to music’s tempting ways.
Your tender notes will soothe the strings;
we rise, on softly wafting wings,
in air so thin, bells scarcely ring,
and there I hear the sky.

Original:

Play the violin again;
let hands that flit so lightly
slip a sigh.
Fold forward into flesch
and scoop the ecstasy;
sweep low to bow
to music’s tempting ways.
Your tender notes will soothe the strings,
I rise on softly wafting wings
in air so thin, bells scarcely ring,
but there I hear the sky.

Tectak
1992

I really love the imagery used here. As for the structure, it's nice and short

Thank you,
you come lte to this one but are there any areas it could be improved?
Best,
tectak

[Heartafire]

I understand it's a wrap, but I risk the wrath of ...I dunno. Just have to say this is a beautiful piece of writing, must commend you. It's lovely.
My best,
Heart

Thanks heart,
Missing you. Where have you been?
I got a lot of input on this one...I should have waited for yours!
Best,
tectak

Hi Tom: have you considered reciting this poem?
In my opinion you should.

serge

(wait please. lest I forget not:

cheers!)

Hi serge,
most of my keepable stuff gets recited sooner or later. We have some good poetry groups here, if sporadic in their meet-ups. That's how it should be....of course, it doesn't stop you reciting it...I assume you are a teutonic bass.. Nothing else would do.
Best,
tectak

[Brownlie]

Edit 2

Play the violin again;
from hands that flit
let lightly slip
a sigh.
Fold forward into flesch
and scoop the ecstasy.
Sweep low and bow
to Symphony's allure.
Your tender notes will soothe the strings;
we rise, on softly wafting wings,
in air so thin, bells scarcely ring,
and there I hear the sky.

Edit 1
Play the violin again;
from hands that flit
let lightly slip
a sigh.
Fold forward into flesch
and scoop the ecstasy.
Sweep low to bow
to music’s tempting ways.
Your tender notes will soothe the strings;
we rise, on softly wafting wings,
in air so thin, bells scarcely ring,
and there I hear the sky.

Original:

Play the violin again;
let hands that flit so lightly
slip a sigh.
Fold forward into flesch
and scoop the ecstasy;
sweep low to bow
to music’s tempting ways.
Your tender notes will soothe the strings,
I rise on softly wafting wings
in air so thin, bells scarcely ring,
but there I hear the sky.

Tectak
1992

Can't give the best of feedback because I don't play violin but I believe abstractions are holding this piece back. When I say abstraction I mean words like ecstasy but to be honest I don't play or even listen to much violin. Thanks for posting

[tectak]

Edit 2

Play the violin again;
from hands that flit
let lightly slip
a sigh.
Fold forward into flesch
and scoop the ecstasy.
Sweep low and bow
to Symphony's allure.
Your tender notes will soothe the strings;
we rise, on softly wafting wings,
in air so thin, bells scarcely ring,
and there I hear the sky.

Edit 1
Play the violin again;
from hands that flit
let lightly slip
a sigh.
Fold forward into flesch
and scoop the ecstasy.
Sweep low to bow
to music’s tempting ways.
Your tender notes will soothe the strings;
we rise, on softly wafting wings,
in air so thin, bells scarcely ring,
and there I hear the sky.

Original:

Play the violin again;
let hands that flit so lightly
slip a sigh.
Fold forward into flesch
and scoop the ecstasy;
sweep low to bow
to music’s tempting ways.
Your tender notes will soothe the strings,
I rise on softly wafting wings
in air so thin, bells scarcely ring,
but there I hear the sky.

Tectak
1992

Can't give the best of feedback because I don't play violin but I believe abstractions are holding this piece back. When I say abstraction I mean words like ecstasy but to be honest I don't play or even listen to much violin. Thanks for posting

Ah well...to the bin with this one, then.
Best,
tectak