The universe revolved, and there was I,
until fate with its unknowable touch,
mercifully tread on my grand plan:
gouged my chest, and beat out my eyes,
using my own convictions to break me:
small minute fractures, one line per each self-lie.
The final bone splintered, the fault did crack in me;
crucifying my psyche upon a destitute tree.

A bonsai changeling, quiescent succubae,
a green-eyed blonde, lithe, long, and wan
a user of people, an abuser of drugs,
a seducer from the path of the pietistic way.
A match from Abaddon, a manifested pairing:
Narsissa-Lothario, Lilith and Adam.
A token of ruin, breach birth of decay,
a self-serving illness claiming truth was passé.

There were many within her. "We're legend," it said.
A faceted-faced female, her persona long bled,
"We deceive to survive; we're servile to deceive".
Substantiated-absorption, "Through the dead do we live."
Those demon owned eyes saw only pain did accrue,
as her mirrors were only for 3-D self-views.
A rabbit hole transport, into a myopic worldview,
for her eyes alone did its topology cue.

Extant, manipulable, objectified, commonality,
a sociopathic, depersonalized, anti-person personality.
A pleasure compass, a sensual schematized abacus,
each pathogenic inconsonance was a face of this succubus:
sharing its sickness under the facade of love.
Evil cannot exist, without accomplice:
nor subsist, if lies be bound and the truth be told,
as it is below the same on earth, the truth will hold.

Even so, universal law will not salvation toss
a line to one without eyes to see, or a mind at such loss.

--just so then: the truth!--

Only her self-absorbed suicide did free me:
paid for with fresh fleshy furrowed rows multiplied,
both limbs, the right and the left, punched my ticket to ride.
For luck, she also sliced deep, the middle of her emaciated chest.
Thus broke my will’s final resistance: blood paid freedom’s cost.
Hell's gain was mine. I never had her, to count her, as lost!



note: The drawing is by me to illustrate this poem. Since I had it, I thought I would include it.
©2011 Erthona

(01-01-2012, 10:45 AM)Erthona Wrote:  The universe revolved, and there was I,
until fate with its unknowable touch,
mercifully tread on my grand plan:
gouged my chest, and beat out my eyes,
using my own convictions to break me:
small minute fractures, one line per each self-lie.
The final bone splintered, the fault did crack in me;
crucifying my psyche upon a destitute tree.

A bonsai changeling, quiescent succubae,
a green-eyed blonde, lithe, long, and wan
a user of people, an abuser of drugs,
a seducer from the path of the pietistic way.
A match from Abaddon, a manifested pairing:
Narsissa-Lothario, Lilith and Adam.
A token of ruin, breach birth of decay,
a self-serving illness claiming truth was passé.

There were many within her. "We're legend," it said.
A faceted-faced female, her persona long bled,
"We deceive to survive; we're servile to deceive".
Substantiated-absorption, "Through the dead do we live."
Those demon owned eyes saw only pain did accrue,
as her mirrors were only for 3-D self-views.
A rabbit hole transport, into a myopic worldview,
for her eyes alone did its topology cue.

Extant, manipulable, objectified, commonality,
a sociopathic, depersonalized, anti-person personality.
A pleasure compass, a sensual schematized abacus,
each pathogenic inconsonance was a face of this succubus:
sharing its sickness under the facade of love.
Evil cannot exist, without accomplice:
nor subsist, if lies be bound and the truth be told,
as it is below the same on earth, the truth will hold.

Even so, universal law will not salvation toss
a line to one without eyes to see, or a mind at such loss.

--just so then: the truth!--

Only her self-absorbed suicide did free me:
paid for with fresh fleshy furrowed rows multiplied,
both limbs, the right and the left, punched my ticket to ride.
For luck, she also sliced deep, the middle of her emaciated chest.
Thus broke my will’s final resistance: blood paid freedom’s cost.
Hell's gain was mine. I never had her, to count her, as lost!

[Image: http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-a...4747_n.jpg]

©2011 Erthona

Very descriptive and entertaining read Dale, 'between a rock and the deep blue sea' ( is there such a thing as a mixed idiom? ). It put me in mind of The Rime of the Ancient Mariner for some reason.

Should: 'gouged my chest, and beat out my eyes' be 'beat my chest, and gouged out my eyes' ?

Most enjoyable, cheers!

It put me in mind of The Rime of the Ancient Mariner for some reason.
Well aside from the motif that redemption seems little better than despair, there isn't much there in terms of form or setting. The Mariner unintentionally brings about his own salvation in that he "blessed them unaware", whereas the protagonist in this poem is redeemed by what had enslaved him, in an ironic twist, and through no effort of his own,
"Only her self-absorbed suicide did free me".

Coleridge is a favorite of mine, although I am not sure I see much of him in this one, but I'll gladly take any comparisons.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Should: 'gouged my chest, and beat out my eyes' be 'beat my chest, and gouged out my eyes' ?

If you mean was the reversal unintentional, then no. If you mean is it not reversed to what it usually is, then yes.
Why? I think I had the idea about coming to reality through inverting things, so that hell and earth become the same thing. In other words the solution was not going somewhere else, or getting something. The solution to the problem was in a perceptual shift, because the problem was rooted in the speakers worldview, which is echoed by the line:

"A rabbit hole transport, into a myopic worldview,
for her eyes alone did its topology cue. "

There are some other lines that speak to this.

"using my own convictions to break me"
"A match from Abaddon, a manifested pairing"
"a self-serving illness claiming truth was passé."
""We deceive to survive; we're servile to deceive"."
"as her mirrors were only for 3-D self-views"
"as it is below the same on earth, the truth will hold."

This is an idea that originates with Blake, well at least for me. He says something to the effect of

"when we contract our vision we see multitudes, when we expand our vision we see everything as one."

An idea that for him can be seen early on in the dichotomy of innocence and experience, in the "Songs" and even comes to some resolution in "Tyger", but not completely until the Four Zoas.

There is a line that Jesus speaks somewhere in the Bible where he says, "If you can believe it Heaven is here now."
Neither heaven or hell are places. So literally by changing our minds enough we initiate a perceptional shift that changes our worldview.That can happen all at once, or slowly over time.

Thanks for the read and the comments,

Dale

(01-01-2012, 03:06 PM)Erthona Wrote:  It put me in mind of The Rime of the Ancient Mariner for some reason.
Well aside from the motif that redemption seems little better than despair, there isn't much there in terms of form or setting. The Mariner unintentionally brings about his own salvation in that he "blessed them unaware", whereas the protagonist in this poem is redeemed by what had enslaved him, in an ironic twist, and through no effort of his own,
"Only her self-absorbed suicide did free me".

Coleridge is a favorite of mine, although I am not sure I see much of him in this one, but I'll gladly take any comparisons.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Should: 'gouged my chest, and beat out my eyes' be 'beat my chest, and gouged out my eyes' ?

If you mean was the reversal unintentional, then no. If you mean is it not reversed to what it usually is, then yes.
Why? I think I had the idea about coming to reality through inverting things, so that hell and earth become the same thing. In other words the solution was not going somewhere else, or getting something. The solution to the problem was in a perceptual shift, because the problem was rooted in the speakers worldview, which is echoed by the line:

"A rabbit hole transport, into a myopic worldview,
for her eyes alone did its topology cue. "

There are some other lines that speak to this.

"using my own convictions to break me"
"A match from Abaddon, a manifested pairing"
"a self-serving illness claiming truth was passé."
""We deceive to survive; we're servile to deceive"."
"as her mirrors were only for 3-D self-views"
"as it is below the same on earth, the truth will hold."

This is an idea that originates with Blake, well at least for me. He says something to the effect of

"when we contract our vision we see multitudes, when we expand our vision we see everything as one."

An idea that for him can be seen early on in the dichotomy of innocence and experience, in the "Songs" and even comes to some resolution in "Tyger", but not completely until the Four Zoas.

There is a line that Jesus speaks somewhere in the Bible where he says, "If you can believe it Heaven is here now."
Neither heaven or hell are places. So literally by changing our minds enough we initiate a perceptional shift that changes our worldview.That can happen all at once, or slowly over time.

Thanks for the read and the comments,

Dale

Thanks for the explanation Dale, 'If you mean was the reversal unintentional, then no. If you mean is it not reversed to what it usually is, then yes.' it was a but too subtle for me, I didn't think you would make such an obvious mistake so had to ask, cheers.

I have been known to make obvious mistakes before. My last marriage comes to mind.

They must be obeyed...........

They whose name shall not be spoken
lest I offer my stomach contents as a token!

Cricket Carnation