dark moon
        oh!
        a mirror

I like this one. Particularly for the " Oh" - however, it's strong enough without the explanation point. IMO

(09-27-2014, 09:52 PM)Tiger the Lion Wrote:  I like this one. Particularly for the " Oh" - however, it's strong enough without the explanation point. IMO

I thought of using an 'ah' instead, making it more Asian/Buddhist/koan. But 'ah' denotes
coming to an intellectual understanding, and I wanted more of a dumb awakening. And dumb awakenings
need a '!'... well, I think that was the reasoning, my head still hurts.

        dark moon
        ah
        a mirror

Then there's always the Homer Simpson "D'oh!" (stolen from a BBC show). But that's gotta be saved
for actually running into the mirror (and we'd need two exclamation marks):

        dark moon
        D'oh!
        stupid mirror!