Myself
I am clear as the sky for someone,
But invisible for others.
I mean more than life itself for someone,
But less than a penny for others.
I am special for someone,
but pathetic for others.
Are you like others?
Or something special?[/align][/size][/font]
Posts: 134
Threads: 10
Joined: Mar 2013
Hi,
I think I see where you want to go with this, but find it lacks specific examples/images to connect with.
Why are you pathetic, or why can you be seen? Why to every proposition.
Posts: 574
Threads: 80
Joined: May 2013
(05-07-2013, 03:34 AM)niklasheide Wrote: Myself
I am clear as the sky for someone,
But invisible for others.
I mean more than life itself for someone,
But less than a penny for others.
I am special for someone,
but pathetic for others.
Are you like others?
Or something special?[/align][/size][/font]
Perhaps read song of myself by Walt Whitman and look at the spark notes. What is poetry? What is love? Those two questions should baffle you a little at least when you first consider them. Sorry if I sound as a loon.
Posts: 6
Threads: 1
Joined: May 2013
Loveless
Relentlessly, the waves beat upon the rocks.
Where to you think sand comes from?
Castles; between your toes; in the bucket; in your eyes.
Relentlessly, the rain beats against the earth.
Where do you think rivers come from?
Peaceful; raging; flooding; flowing.
Relentlessly, the fists beat upon my heart.
Where do you think tears come from?
Painful; hurtful; cleansing; racking.
Relentlessly, the heals beat against my head.
Where do you think loveless comes from?
Lonely; searing; lonely; lonely.
Loveless.
I don't have it.
I don't feel it.
I don't want it.
Loveless
Waves; rain; fists; feet.
Beating me lovelessly.
Posts: 16
Threads: 2
Joined: May 2013
It is a good start, but perhaps more details would enhance it?
