The March

[Ehud]

Onward they walk mindlessly stomping the frozen mud beneath their feet. Every eye is closed. No one dares to see. Thick clouds of vapor hang in the air above their heads.
All face forward and away from those walking behind. Their tongues are numb and atrophied. Frozen or unusable it does matter for the only sound they will to make is the crunching with their feet. The crunching of the icy mud by those who would not see.
One in a legion cracks open their eyes. One in a legion is trampled by those behind. Along with the bones of those who walked before, those who dared to see.
The sharp cracking, crunching, noise beneath their feet never stops.

[Volaticus]

Hi Ehud,

Just a few thoughts.

I would believe that 'Thick clouds of vapor' is a contradiction. Vapor is, if I'm not mistaken, barely or not visible.

'Frozen or unusable it does matter for the only sound they will to make is the crunching with their feet.' This sentence just doesn't make sense. And it is not grammatically correct.

'Along with the bones of those who walked before, those who dared to see.' There might be a disconnect here, I'm not sure. But starting the sentence with along, made it unclear to me nonetheless.

Keep writing