In time all things shall be counted and weighed,
yet not until Seventeen Ninety Eight
did Monsieur Pinel, famed breaker of chains
which bound the insane, pause to explain
that there were but four mental disorders:
madness had been drawn and quartered
and hung from above.

You might be manic or melancholic,
maybe demented or idiotic;
you could suffer combinations of it -
Monsieur Pinel knew his stuff.
With that absence of equivocation
shrinks use when they talk to patients,
he said that four was quite enough.

There’s no evidence that angry punters
disappointed at the dearth of numbers,
manned barricades or raised their voices
to express displeasure at the meagre choices.
What were they thinking of?

I’m guessing, but as near as dammit
a billion souls lived on the planet.
Now mankind’s increased seven-fold
and madness populates the globe.
Four hundred mental illnesses
unearthed in the last two centuries.
We’re beaten, I reckon,
a hundred to seven
by burgeoning insanities.

The medicalisation of everyday life
isn’t likely to keep me awake at night –
I never go without my sleeping tablets.
But how many planets shall we require
at some future date, so all may aspire
to their designated quota of madness?

Make that four hundred and one.

on;y gave it a once over ray and i like it. will leave some solid feedback later.

(07-25-2012, 05:10 PM)penguin Wrote:  In time all things shall be counted and weighed,
yet not until Seventeen Ninety Eight picky but "in time all" is not reconcilable with "yet not until"
when the date is in the distant past
did Monsieur Pinel, famed breaker of chains
which bound the insane, pause to explain
that there were but four mental disorders:
madness had been drawn and quartered
and hung from above.

You might be manic or melancholic,
maybe demented or idiotic;
you could suffer combinations of it - combinations, plural, of "it", singular
Monsieur Pinel knew his stuff.
With that absence of equivocation
shrinks use when they talk to patients,
he said that four was quite enough.

There’s no evidence that angry punters
disappointed at the dearth of numbers,
manned barricades or raised their voices
to express displeasure at the meagre choices.
What were they thinking of?

I’m guessing, but as near as dammit
a billion souls lived on the planet.
Now mankind’s increased seven-fold
and madness populates the globe.
Four hundred mental illnesses
unearthed in the last two centuries.
We’re beaten, I reckon,
a hundred to seven
by burgeoning insanities.

The medicalisation of everyday life
isn’t likely to keep me awake at night –
I never go without my sleeping tablets.
But how many planets shall we require
at some future date, so all may aspire
to their designated quota of madness?

Make that four hundred and one.

I like the overall concept. It is commitment verse. An argument well made. My small complaints are largely just that...small. There is a further point, though. This kind of witty approach can benefit from a background rhythm, if only to delineate and emphasise each well made point. The lack of rhythm is disconcerting because it is there and then not there....but the contextual sense is quite uniformly distributed throughout the piece. As would then be expected, the synchronisation of words (including the meaning of) and meter breaks down in random fashion.
Overall, though, your usual accomplished work. Good stuff.
Best,
tectak
PS. You will note that I avoid trochee-spondee-iamb-anapest talk. For the pupose of crit it must be understood that only if the writer makes great effort to comply with one of the describable verse forms, and fails iredeemably or succeeds spectacularly, is it worth critting on that level.

The concept and synoptic trajectory of this poem is solid. I see it working better as a 'performance' than a 'page' poem.

My main issue with it is the awkward mix of elevated and colloquial language. I think this is may be intentional and designed to reflect the two historical periods referenced, but the way it has been done feels haphazard.

It's also a bit fatty, but if it has been written with performance in mind that's probably fine. If not, I'd edit down.

The ending is cute.

(07-25-2012, 05:10 PM)penguin Wrote:  In time all things shall be counted and weighed,
yet not until Seventeen Ninety Eight
did Monsieur Pinel, famed breaker of chains
which bound the insane, pause to explain
that there were but four mental disorders:
madness had been drawn and quartered
and hung from above.

You might be manic or melancholic,
maybe demented or idiotic;
you could suffer combinations of it -
Monsieur Pinel knew his stuff.
With that absence of equivocation
shrinks use when they talk to patients,
he said that four was quite enough.

There’s no evidence that angry punters
disappointed at the dearth of numbers,
manned barricades or raised their voices
to express displeasure at the meagre choices.
What were they thinking of?

I’m guessing, but as near as dammit
a billion souls lived on the planet.
Now mankind’s increased seven-fold
and madness populates the globe.
Four hundred mental illnesses
unearthed in the last two centuries.
We’re beaten, I reckon,
a hundred to seven
by burgeoning insanities.

The medicalisation of everyday life
isn’t likely to keep me awake at night –
I never go without my sleeping tablets.
But how many planets shall we require
at some future date, so all may aspire
to their designated quota of madness?

Make that four hundred and one.

sorry for not getting back sooner ray.

(07-25-2012, 05:10 PM)penguin Wrote:  In time all things shall be counted and weighed, reminds me of a knights tale
yet not until Seventeen Ninety Eight
did Monsieur Pinel, famed breaker of chains
which bound the insane, pause to explain
that there were but four mental disorders:
madness had been drawn and quartered i like the way quartered works with four
and hung from above.

You might be manic or melancholic,
maybe demented or idiotic;
you could suffer combinations of it - it feels singular where combinations doesn't
Monsieur Pinel knew his stuff.
With that absence of equivocation
shrinks use when they talk to patients,
he said that four was quite enough.

There’s no evidence that angry punters
disappointed at the dearth of numbers,
manned barricades or raised their voices
to express displeasure at the meagre choices.
What were they thinking of?

I’m guessing, but as near as dammit
a billion souls lived on the planet.
Now mankind’s increased seven-fold
and madness populates the globe.
Four hundred mental illnesses
unearthed in the last two centuries.
We’re beaten, I reckon,
a hundred to seven the number seems arbitrary (which i'm sure it is )
by burgeoning insanities.

The medicalisation of everyday life
isn’t likely to keep me awake at night –
I never go without my sleeping tablets.
But how many planets shall we require
at some future date, so all may aspire
to their designated quota of madness?

Make that four hundred and one. i can't see any relevance to this line, though i say that; the line is readable and rounds off the thing well. i suppose that means it has relevance then mm

the title does work but i'd love to see something with more depth or wordplay. not sure the first line adds anything. a strong original write that has some good humour in it no real nits apart from an odd one. i did enjoy some of the word choices.
is it meant to have a rhyme scheme?

thanks for the read.

Thanks all.
Tom -
"picky but "in time all" is not reconcilable with "yet not until"
when the date is in the distant past "

I don't agree. Given how long insanity has been around, 2oo years ago is not the distant past. It's actually quite late in the day. That's what I mean.
I think I've been picked up before on "combinations of it". The "it" is madness. Can you suffer combinations of madness? I'm not even convincing myself here!What about "a combination of it"?
The rhythm is consistent - for me - until the "populates the globe" line. There ought to be a line break there, at least. For me, the change in rhythm is not that big an issue.

Parakleseos - it's interesting what you say about performance. I do "perform" now and again, not this one though.I think maybe I write my humorous poems with an audience in mind.

Billy - the hundred to seven isn't arbitrary. Mankind has increased from one billion to seven billion, mental disorders from 4 to 400+ - 100-7. The relevance of the last line is that the narrator has just realised that his own contorted rationalisations constitute a new mental disorder.
Is there a rhyme scheme? Well, there are rhymes throughout, but they aren't appearing in a regular fashion, if you get what I mean.
"PS. You will note that I avoid trochee-spondee-iamb-anapest talk."
That's just as well, Tom, as I wouldn't have a clue what you're on about anyway!