Realization

[Ajax]

The title of this one eluded me for a long time. Still not sure if I like it. Anyways, enjoy.

Realization


To the child on his knee:
"Child, tell me of your fantasy",
And the child told a story of harmony,
A story of bliss and glee.
He thinks "He will surely see."
He knows the child will not see.

To the young man he pulls aside:
"Do you still believe the story you described?"
He knows that the young man denied
The horrors of the world that he eyed.
He thinks "He has surely just not tried"
He knows the young man will not try.

To the working man he spies in the field:
"Has my advice to you been heeled?"
He knows there is no longer a shield
But the man cannot accept the truth revealed.
He thinks "He can surely still be healed"
He knows the working man can not be healed.

To the old man he sees with a cane:
"Why does your smile wane?"
The old man says he sits and watches lives drain.
Why he does nothing he cannot explain.
He thinks "He has surely now seen the pain"
He knows the old man has more than seen the pain.

[allykat727]

This piece was a fun read. I found it rhythmic and musical and liked the repetition. I really liked the style and seeing the changes as the child grows to old age. However, I was a little confused as to why what 'he thinks' and 'he knows' contradicts (except for the last stanza). I feel as if there is something very profound and meaningful in this poem, but I cannot quite reach what it is because of this confusion. What I do know, is that the idea of a child going from innocence and happiness to old age and pain elicits much sadness. I felt you painted the picture of this character very well. Good job!

[Ajax]

This piece was a fun read. I found it rhythmic and musical and liked the repetition. I really liked the style and seeing the changes as the child grows to old age. However, I was a little confused as to why what 'he thinks' and 'he knows' contradicts (except for the last stanza). I feel as if there is something very profound and meaningful in this poem, but I cannot quite reach what it is because of this confusion. What I do know, is that the idea of a child going from innocence and happiness to old age and pain elicits much sadness. I felt you painted the picture of this character very well. Good job!

The contradiction of he knows and he thinks was meant to hi light the fact that the old man tried to convince himself that the child would learn (he thinks) but knew that the child would not (he knows), although I do understand how this could be confusing. Anyways thanks for your comment, always appreciated!

[allykat727]

This piece was a fun read. I found it rhythmic and musical and liked the repetition. I really liked the style and seeing the changes as the child grows to old age. However, I was a little confused as to why what 'he thinks' and 'he knows' contradicts (except for the last stanza). I feel as if there is something very profound and meaningful in this poem, but I cannot quite reach what it is because of this confusion. What I do know, is that the idea of a child going from innocence and happiness to old age and pain elicits much sadness. I felt you painted the picture of this character very well. Good job!

The contradiction of he knows and he thinks was meant to hi light the fact that the old man tried to convince himself that the child would learn (he thinks) but knew that the child would not (he knows), although I do understand how this could be confusing. Anyways thanks for your comment, always appreciated!

Oh I see! I might suggest changing the line to: He says, "you will surely see,"

[Ajax]

Yes that could be a possible solution. If it improves the readers comprehension of the piece then I suppose it could be a worthwhile addition. Once again, appreciate the feedback immensely.