A Hitchcockery

[serge gurkski]

For Meral, who died last Easter, aged 30


The guy from Sheffield took another desperate gulp
from the last bottle of my stolen whiskey supply.
It was a hot August night but he shivered heavily.
The sweat soaking his t-shirt was due to withdrawal.
He was a sympathetic junk of flotsam: George in need.
While I rolled him a cigarette I threw a skeptical
glance at him: would he be able to drive?

He was a truck driver, had run out of money
and gas on his return from the Balkans, because
a Turkish street pharmacist had gypped him in
Thessaloníki. We finally managed to mount the
tractor unit; he did not remember where his
trailer had gone. We listened to Cream’s I feel free
and were swiftly floating into a Hitchcock scene.

We parked at the city baths, a ten-minute walk to
the shabby drug bazaar. George suddenly turned to
me, bleak-lipped, and whispered that he had
just shat his pants. He told me he’d drive back to
my place and must have gotten lost in his private nightmare.
I met M., the dottoressa, in front of one of the joints.
She jumped up and down, pumped up with speed.

We sat down on a stone bench, where she fed me some pills
I swallowed cider. I looked at her face striped by trembling
streaks of moonlight. She had found a wealthy customer
but didn’t want to make the deal alone. That’s how luck is spelled,
I thought and she drove us to his house in her father’s limo.
A couple of stretched-out eye blinks passed and the three of us rested
amply oxycodoned at a pond overhung with rustling willows.

An eon later I stared at the nicotine-colored
ceiling of my own bed room, while listening with disbelief
to the sad voice on the phone: M. had died in a spectacular
car crash this morning on the Autobahn to Frankfurt.
I inspected my pockets full of drugs to share with George,
but he had disappeared leaving an undecipherable note
on the kitchen table and a stench in the bathroom.

(she drove a black Benz to death)

[Truerenigma]

This is one hell of a story, and well told to boot. That being said i don't think the first line needs "another" and "desperate", it didn't really add much for me, unless maybe it was "yet another". I think an interesting idea would be to introduce you both in the the first line or two, him taking a sip "as" or "while" you rolled his cigarette. The last line didn't need it anyway, looking at him and wondering if he can drive already says it all, and sets up the ending very poetically. You may want to loose the abstract "Skeptically" though, and instead describe what the skepticism looked like on your face.

[serge gurkski]

ok. ty true.

I get your comment.

Now, are you adventurous?
I want to show you where else I have posted this and how (so different from you) people commented on it over there.
If you are willing to take the risk, jump on this link:

http://www.ablemuse.com/erato/showthread.php?t=20191


,-)

cheers

serge

[milo]

ok. ty true.

I get your comment.

Now, are you adventurous?
I want to show you where else I have posted this and how (so different from you) people commented on it over there.
If you are willing to take the risk, jump on this link:

http://www.ablemuse.com/erato/showthread.php?t=20191


,-)

cheers

serge

That site is run by Bela, an old Usenet refugee like myself. Much of what will goes over very well here (The Pig) won't pass as well on Able and would be moved to novice at PFFA.

[serge gurkski]

ok. ty true.

I get your comment.

Now, are you adventurous?
I want to show you where else I have posted this and how (so different from you) people commented on it over there.
If you are willing to take the risk, jump on this link:

http://www.ablemuse.com/erato/showthread.php?t=20191


,-)

cheers

serge

That site is run by Bela, an old Usenet refugee like myself. Much of what will goes over very well here (The Pig) won't pass as well on Able and would be moved to novice at PFFA.

right, Milo. Ok with me after the first shock sec. ,-) #) but that is why I like it here all the more, you know. Thanks to our landword Master Billy.

it is bit more fleshy and muddy and dirt here and an occasional belch or fart hurts no one here.

cheers

Serge (kinky enough to dig the hyperposhness of the ladies and gents ovuh at Eratosphere. I feel so priviledged. ;-)))

[milo]

ok. ty true.

I get your comment.

Now, are you adventurous?
I want to show you where else I have posted this and how (so different from you) people commented on it over there.
If you are willing to take the risk, jump on this link:

http://www.ablemuse.com/erato/showthread.php?t=20191


,-)

cheers

serge

That site is run by Bela, an old Usenet refugee like myself. Much of what will goes over very well here (The Pig) won't pass as well on Able and would be moved to novice at PFFA.

right, Milo. Ok with me after the first shock sec. ,-) #) but that is why I like it here all the more, you know. Thanks to our landword Master Billy.

it is bit more fleshy and muddy and dirt here and an occasional belch or fart hurts no one here.

cheers

Serge (kinky enough to dig the hyperposhness of the ladies and gents ovuh at Eratosphere. I feel so priviledged. ;-)))

you don't see me over there anymore my friend. Right here in the muck with you.

milo

[serge gurkski]

That site is run by Bela, an old Usenet refugee like myself. Much of what will goes over very well here (The Pig) won't pass as well on Able and would be moved to novice at PFFA.

right, Milo. Ok with me after the first shock sec. ,-) #) but that is why I like it here all the more, you know. Thanks to our landword Master Billy.

it is bit more fleshy and muddy and dirt here and an occasional belch or fart hurts no one here.

cheers

Serge (kinky enough to dig the hyperposhness of the ladies and gents ovuh at Eratosphere. I feel so priviledged. ;-)))

you don't see me over there anymore my friend. Right here in the muck with you.

milo

I like to switch (still ;-) )

But consider this place here my home base. (Evidently)
But to be fair: some of the people over are quite sweet too.

[milo]

right, Milo. Ok with me after the first shock sec. ,-) #) but that is why I like it here all the more, you know. Thanks to our landword Master Billy.

it is bit more fleshy and muddy and dirt here and an occasional belch or fart hurts no one here.

cheers

Serge (kinky enough to dig the hyperposhness of the ladies and gents ovuh at Eratosphere. I feel so priviledged. ;-)))

you don't see me over there anymore my friend. Right here in the muck with you.

milo

I like to switch (still ;-) )

But consider this place here my home base. (Evidently)
But to be fair: some of the people over are quite sweet too.

My place was elsewhere, there, and others, and then my place was nowhere for so long.

Now I want my place to be here.

I rarely get what I want.

[serge gurkski]

Let us invent a drink: a Hitchscotch.

---

you don't see me over there anymore my friend. Right here in the muck with you.

milo

I like to switch (still ;-) )

But consider this place here my home base. (Evidently)
But to be fair: some of the people over are quite sweet too.

My place was elsewhere, there, and others, and then my place was nowhere for so long.

Now I want my place to be here.

I rarely get what I want.

nomad you. ,-)

well, i am settling down.
any bar ok with me.

[serge gurkski]

re able muse: it all boils down to highnoseyness

whatever

---

or - if you are so inclined to prefer - high brow si ness

---

prose version here:

http://gurkski.wordpress.com/2010/07/13/...e-version/

;-)

cheers