Overcoming

[aniNreklaW]

Hell bent on being on my own
Too ashamed to let anybody know
I wear a mask among the crowd
How can silence be so loud

With every sound that I make (Is that me?)
Something inside seems to break
How long before I'm discovered
Before the real me is uncovered

Swallow the truth and keep on weaving
Don't let anybody know I've been deceiving
It takes a liar to spot a liar
That's what I tell my self as I spiral higher

If I can just hold on a little longer
If I could just become a little stronger
Someone will help me learn to trust
Someday I'll believe there's more than lust

Wish I could know
That anything can last
How could I though
When nothing has in the past

I wear this smile
To fool myself
And for a while
I forget the worst

It's time I let go
Where do i start
Do I let someone know
Or keep it locked in my heart

Or where my heart should be
Anyways, how does one tell?
He looks and does not see
I tell myself it's just as well

But if I have that capacity
To love, to trust, to connect to him
He'll hurt me with almost certainty
I couldn't show my face again

I would never lose
But wait
I could never win
And isn't it better to have played and lost than to have never played at all?

It's time I rid myself of these fears
I can only hope it's HE who hears
It's now or never time to try
I want to feel before I die

[neb123]

Thanks for sharing your work. I know it takes courage!
I feel that this poem tries to express feelings that a lot of people experience, but it doesn't do so in an innovative way. It's more of a conversation...self-reflections without imagery and literary devices to make it more poetic. I feel you make a good effort in some places to create rhyme and rhythm, but it's inconsistent to the point that the ideas become a bit harder to follow.
I think it could help to perfect at least one or two literary devices in your poem. If you are going to stick to straight-forward ideas, then make sure they make sense, and maybe use consistent rhyme and rhythm. Or, if you want to add imagery, simile, metaphor...then perhaps you can be more free with the rhyme scheme. I hope this helps and isn't too much commentary for the novice section

[Jae Mc Donnell]

Hi aniNreklaW. The poem is ok. the fist half reada bit better that the last. Keep writting and you will get better.
Thanks for the read

[Aphroditeny]

I thought it was great!
The rhyming was good and not forced and I loved your thoughts and feelings.
The conflict of loving and getting hurt or not loving but not living.
Tnank you for sharing