Beyond Reach

[jmmc137]

My ardency leads to my demise,
the mind is aware but the heart finds comfort in denial,
possibilities and false hopes board my train of thought,
Engines burn daydreams in order to operate,
operate is an overstatement in her presence.

[cidermaid]

Hi, this is a nice effort with good use of images to hold the readers attention, but I found it a bit flat to read. I think that perhaps you need to work on the flow and metre of the poem to give it that extra lift & life. A Slant rhyme or perhaps some other poetic device like some alliteration might be worth considering.
As they say the choice is yours...but be encouraged I think this has plenty of potential.
Thanks for sharing. AJ