Taking back my power

[inthedeep]

Today I'm taking back my power
And I want to let you know
I'm no longer yours to control
It's time for you to go

No longer will I think of you
I will not speak your name
You've brought nothing but pain to me
And unimaginable shame

But I realise now that it's not me
Who should feel the guilt and blame
Because it's you who made the choice
To hurt me like its just a game

The really sad part about all this
Is that I'm not even sure
That you realise what you stole from me
And left shattered on the floor

You had no right to pressure me
It was my choice to make
You stole a little piece of me
It wasn't yours to take

Too many nights I've laid awake
While tears run down my face
I've pushed away the ones I love
And stayed in this dark place

I see you in my dreams at night
I want these thoughts to go away
I relive every moment 
As if it were yesterday

You've made me feel like I'm alone
Can't let anybody in
My thoughts and fears I cannot share 
Coz of the pain I'm in

I've let you control my heart and mind
I've struggled every day
But for the first time today I realised
I gave my power away

So today I'm taking back my power
And I will not allow
You to steal one more second of my life
I'm calling the shots now

I pity you, one day you'll meet
My God and have to explain
Why you thought it was ok
To cause His precious daughter pain

So I'm getting on with my life
No more drama, no more tears
I won't let you ruin my life
I'm stronger than I appear

I choose to not feel hate for you
I have better things to do
My revenge comes in being awesome
While you continue being you

[Kreative]

Nice poem I like how your rhyme scheme dances around but your stanzas remain the same, it just kind of adds to the emotion. I would love to see more imagery, I think that could add a lot to it, and I think it would be better if it started out in that depressed, hopeless mood and moved into the more of "now I'm taking control" mood. But it's your poem, I can only give suggestions. Solid formatting and I like the emotion, I don't know if this is personal, or if it's purely creative, but it feels personal, which is always a good thing, poetry=emotion.

[Stalker]

Hi

I agree with Kreative - lack of imagery - can you show me somethings about how you are feeling as you write this?

StalKeR

[brandontoh]

Firstly, do think about introducing punctuation into your poetry. It helps with the pacing and allow the readers to read through your poems with more ease and clearer imageries.

Today I'm taking back my power
And I want to let you know
I'm no longer yours to control
It's time for you to go -- This stanza is very cliche, and I feel that it fails to evoke any interest in the reader.

No longer will I think of you
I will not speak your name
You've brought nothing but pain to me
And unimaginable shame -- This stanza is still cliche, but it does make readers interested in the rest of the poem, mainly because of how it piques people's curiosity. A good start for a poem is able to get the readers to ponder 'why?', 'how?' and things like that. This is also why cliches are to be avoided. If someone can guess the answer to your riddle without even the pleasure of visualising a unique and tantalising scene, it's boring.

But I realise now that it's not me
Who should feel the guilt and blame
Because it's you who made the choice
To hurt me like its just a game -- Strong lack of imagery is becoming apparent. This just sound like a whine now, and we're just the third stanza in! I'll stop mentioning anything about cliches, because this poem seems like one huge one to me.

The really sad part about all this
Is that I'm not even sure
That you realise what you stole from me
And left shattered on the floor

You had no right to pressure me
It was my choice to make
You stole a little piece of me
It wasn't yours to take -- This stanza is able to elicit some emotions, mainly anger or bitterness. It's the tone that makes the difference in this stanza. For a very emotive piece, you don't need killer imageries, but you do need strong emotive language. This here has a very personal tone to it, and the sure and harsh words employed help inject said emotions. Sure, it's not too strong, but compared to the other stanzas, this one stands out to me.

Too many nights I've laid awake
While tears run down my face
I've pushed away the ones I love
And stayed in this dark place

I see you in my dreams at night
I want these thoughts to go away
I relive every moment 
As if it were yesterday

You've made me feel like I'm alone
Can't let anybody in
My thoughts and fears I cannot share 
Coz of the pain I'm in

I've let you control my heart and mind
I've struggled every day
But for the first time today I realised
I gave my power away

So today I'm taking back my power
And I will not allow
You to steal one more second of my life
I'm calling the shots now -- This here is another stanza that stands out for the same reasons.

I pity you, one day you'll meet
My God and have to explain
Why you thought it was ok
To cause His precious daughter pain

So I'm getting on with my life
No more drama, no more tears
I won't let you ruin my life
I'm stronger than I appear

I choose to not feel hate for you
I have better things to do
My revenge comes in being awesome
While you continue being you

Overall, a lack of imageries suggest that you're new to this poetry thing. No worries, everyone can improve with time! =) I feel that this may be based on a rather personal experience and may be quite recent as well, with explains the cliche and the lack of imagery. When we feel the emotions strongly, they're really raw and they just... are. Sometimes, in order to write about something well, we need to be a bystander imagining ourselves in others' shoes. A poet's strongest weapon is personal experience combined with rich imagination, but only the imagination is needed for a poem that can immerse. Your structure and rhythm are good though, so I really do hope to see more from you in the future. Hope I'm of help! =) Remember, that all my comments are personal opinions, so take what you will and toss away what you don't need.