Don't wake me, I'll be Writing.

[Pete Ak]

I wonder why I love to scribble
profundities or arrant drivel,
revealing clips of what I know,
concealing bits that I should show?

I wonder where these rhymes will go
when they collide with what you know?
And how you feel.
I wonder if the words I scrawl
intrigue, enrapt, inspire, enthrall
elucidate, attenuate or heal?

I write and mentally ascend
onto clouds, where my best friends
are verbs and preening adjectives
which decorate my narratives
and generate a laxative
effect on my mind.

But other times I descend
into an attitude
that sends
me deep into solitude
and creative constipation.
So, to garner inspiration
I'll find some old quotations
or a dust-filmed hoary cliche
that will maybe take me halfway
to new literary creations.

A story or an ode
hopefully bestowed
with meaning, form and clarity,
a testament to the artistry
of internet forum critters
who, whether sweet or bitter,
(and some are plain outrageous,)
will advise, inform or witter
advantageous...
ly for my art. *

Of course they need revision
and serious attention
to iambs and abstractions,
trochees and inversions.
Then some concentration
on verse - blank or rhyme,
Do my words flow naturally?
Or read better when they chime
harmoniously?

I hurl words at the stars
and await creative echoes.
Rhymes return from Mars,
as unforced as Mexico's
sombrero's.

Sometimes I hear an angel
whisper in my head,
other times the devil
shrieks a curse or two instead.
A swirling and unholy babble:
angelic phrases, devilish words
tangle, flirt, joke and grapple
with all my passions, all my hurts.
So I launch myself unbridled
to mask and unveil a universe.

So, if you catch me fast asleep
with pen and paper in my hand,
Let me be, don't wake me please,
I'll be writing bold ideas
opportunities, dreams and plans.

* (If I offend 'critters'
e'en afore you crit
you'll despise this piece
as a load of shit.
Oops! now mods' tempers will flare,
for posting a poem in which I swear.
They'll probably say the thread must be closed
So as you aren't reading this I see no point in finishing it off properly

[doolasmind#11]

(to the mods i know this is not a serious critique so i guess remove it if you want but i feel like someone had to acknowledge this poem and might as well be me)
honestly this is sick and by sick i mean awesome, great, wonderful, badass etc. you kind of fell off in the middle and by fell off i still mean it was good but not to the caliber that you were coming with in the beginning but then you can back super strong with the stanza about angels and devils. one of the best poems i've read on here so far. my only gripe with the whole thing is first stanza fourth line i would take out "that" because i don't feel like it flows but beyond that this was excellent. thanks for the read

[Pete Ak]

Thanks for the acknowledgement doolasmind and of course thanks for complimenting the poem.
Regarding that first stanza, the syllable count is 9/9/8/8 nice and regular and the stresses are neatly alternate. If I remove "that" it throws the rhythm out. I'm curious about where you think the standard drops tho, might it be through Ss 6&7? If so that's a relief - they are v much tongue in cheek attempts to create poetry so rubbish it's gold! I may not have succeeded quite well enough yet.
Thank you again.

[doolasmind#11]

well if that was your intent then never mind what i said about falling off lol