Religions

[Hidrolic]

Here is another dimension of my writing.


From Haile Selassie and the Rasta man philosophy
To Jesus Christ and the Christian hypocrisy
Just kidding it’s not a mockery
From the resurrections and the prophecys
Prophets and philosophers like Plato and Socrates

From Buddhist to Muslim to Hindu
It’s only right to stay quiet and respect the religions you into
I know it gives you hope, helps you cope with the things that you been through

I guess we all need something to believe in
Something with some type of spiritually definitive meaning
To ease the uncertainty and inquisitive feelings

[doolasmind#11]

Here is another dimension of my writing.


From Haile Selassie and the Rasta man philosophy and the seems too long might try 'a'
To Jesus Christ and the Christian hypocrisy
Just kidding it’s not a mockery i like the line but it doesn't really flow as is, play around with it a little bit to see what you can come up with
From the resurrections and the prophecysprophecies*
Prophets and philosophers like Plato and Socratesneither of them are prophets maybe poets?

From Buddhist to Muslim to Hinduis to needed?
It’s only right to stay quiet and respect the religions you intothis is slang which is ok i understand it "cuz" im young but most wouldn't agree with it
I know it gives you hope, helps you cope with the things that you been throughgood line but you can make it more powerful

I guess we all need something to believe ini guess is inferred
Something with some type of spiritually definitive meaninglast couple words are a tongue twister
To ease the uncertainty and inquisitive feelingsstrong ending

welcome to the site first off. I like this, it is right along the lines of some stuff i have written. I wrote down just a couple minor changes that I think would help it flow better. nothing too big. I'm no editor myself so take how you want to, but overall i think this has a really good base. only thing i would recommend is saying your poem out loud a couple of times because then you really get a good sense of how it flows. there are a lot of different schools of thought about poetry i wouldn't get stuck on just one but rather try a bunch of different types out. good piece, good read.

[Yelleryella123]

Here is another dimension of my writing.


From Haile Selassie and the Rasta man philosophy
To Jesus Christ and the Christian hypocrisy
Just kidding it’s not a mockery
From the resurrections and the prophecys
Prophets and philosophers like Plato and Socrates

From Buddhist to Muslim to Hindu
It’s only right to stay quiet and respect the religions you into
I know it gives you hope, helps you cope with the things that you been through

I guess we all need something to believe in
Something with some type of spiritually definitive meaning
To ease the uncertainty and inquisitive feelings

This is "work shop material" as some say. The first 2 stanzas are good, I felt like there was more coming and then I was disappointed at the last stanza. It didn't quench the context for me. This is a great subject area, your poem feels like the tip of an iceberg. The first 2 stanzas felt like they were leading up to something more, and then it ended.
I do like the first stanza.

I think if you add one more to this list, "From Buddhist to Muslim to Hindu.." before Hindu, it might flow a bit better.
I don't think you should have Buddhists in the mix with Muslims, Hindus or religion in general. Maybe you could touch on the existence of Buddhist Muslims, Buddhist Hindus, Buddhist Christians, Buddhist ____ etc. because I personally do not consider Buddhism a religion. It is a practice that welcomes all religious backgrounds and has the potential to bring them together. Buddha was not a God and he never claimed to be one, he was a man who shared a practice. I feel like this is a misunderstanding in religious circles.

welcome to the site, I look forward to reading more from you

[Hidrolic]

Thanks for the comments from both of you ill take some time and see what I can change and improve with your suggestions.